If the road is easy, you’re likely going the wrong way. – Terry Goodkind

NFL lineman Jim Marshall was part of the revered “Purple People Eater” Minnesota Viking’s defensive line. For twenty seasons he never missed a game, earning a reputation for toughness and reliability. 

But on October 25, 1964, playing against the San Francisco 49ers, Marshall recovered a fumble in the fourth quarter and ran untouched for 66 yards to the end zone. After crossing the goal line, he tossed the ball away and began celebrating. Imagine his surprise when an opposing player trotted up, patted him on the back, and thanked him. And Jim Marshall suddenly realized that he was standing in the wrong end zone. He’d just scored a safety, giving two points to the 49ers. The Vikings still won that day, thanks to eight total turnovers from the 49ers.

On the return flight to Minnesota, teammates ribbed him, Marshall said he simply got confused. “They kept telling me to get up in the cockpit and fly the plane. That way we’d end up in Hawaii instead of Minnesota.” In football, as in much of life, it doesn’t matter that you’re doing something with all your heart, if you’re not going the right direction. 

One wrong goal that’s so common today that’s nearly always the wrong one is a “Me First” mindset. To us, like Jim Marshall, it seems like the right goal but it’s scoring for the wrong team. Our culture praises putting yourself first and looking out for number one. It seems like it’s something that should be celebrated, but ultimately it sucks the life right out of us. 

Several years ago, an anonymous author, wrote a short essay entitled, “How To Be Miserable.” It began Think about yourself. Talk about yourself. Use “I” as often as possible. Mirror yourself continually in the opinion of others. Listen greedily to what people say about you. Expect to be appreciated. Be suspicious. Be jealous and envious. Be sensitive to slights. Never forgive a criticism. Trust nobody but yourself. Insist on consideration and respect. Demand agreement with your own views on everything. Sulk if people are not grateful to you for favors shown them. Never forget a service you have rendered. Shirk your duties if you can. Do as little as possible for others.

The problem of self-focus is deadly. It leads to all kinds of personal problems and spiritual maladies. Here are a few. 

Self-righteousness. 

A common criticism of Christians is an air of spiritual smugness and moral superiority. It’s an attitude that we’re better than others. It fails to realize that we’re all sinners, a hot mess. Jesus often condemned the Pharisees because they trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and despised others (Luke 18:9). 

Self-Deceit. 

The Bible warns us, Be not deceived. A persistent problem we all face is thinking something is true when it’s not. We allow ourselves to be duped by our own opinions, prejudice, traditions, or family heritage. Self-absorption over estimates one’s own power and prowess and neglects the spiritual needs of the soul.

Self-indulgence. 

Our culture is consumed with having more. Getting more things. Enjoying more pleasure. Achieving more success. Relishing more experiences. Living for more and doing more. Self-indulgence in the extreme often leads to self-demise. Sexual addictions, substance abuse, and compulsive behaviors are self-indulgence issues.

There are many other self-inflicted problems we all face including being self-willed, self-serving, and self-loving. They all are part of the sin of being self-centered. Self-absorption negatively impacts your relationships in your family, with friends and co-workers and in your church-family.

A relationship with Jesus means life is not about self. It must be centered in Christ. Jesus calls us to self-denial. So, what’s the cure? Let me suggest some antidotes that help. 

Build strong relationships. 

Get involved and interested in others. Cultivate friendships. You need others, usually different from yourself, to give you balance so you’re not self-centered. You need to make time for relationships for your own emotional and spiritual health. Paul wisely said, In God’s plan men and women need each other (I Corinthians 11:11).

Caring about others is a powerful way to get your focus off yourself. One of the purposes of a church is to build relationships to combat selfishness. One of the antidotes in a selfish culture is a church family, a place where you can belong, become and be what God wants you to be. 

Give yourself away. 

Give yourself away through some kind of service. To be spiritually and emotionally healthy and balanced, every believer needs some form of service on at least a weekly basis, where they voluntarily give themselves away without receiving any personal benefit in return. We need it as a counterbalance to the selfishness our culture encourages. 

Each of us has 168 hours each week. God doesn’t want you to spend them all on yourself. You need a place of service where you say, “I’m going to give myself away.” Ephesians 2:10, God has…given us new lives from Christ Jesus; and long ago He planned that we should spend these lives in helping others Ephesians 2:10. If you’re not giving your life away, you’re just existing, not living. Only those who give their lives away in service to the Lord know what it means to really live. A lost world says, “Get all you can.” Jesus Christ says the opposite, “Give all you can.” 

Habitually practice self-denial. 

In a lost world this is nearly unheard of, yet it’s supremely biblical. Seek to daily find at least one opportunity where you can choose to do the thing of conviction, rather than the thing of convenience. In a society where most are living for themselves, believers must be distinctly different and go against the flow and not just think of ourselves. Jesus said, If any of you wants to be my follower, you must give up your own way, take up your cross daily, and follow Me (Luke 9:23). Notice Jesus said, “daily.” It must be a consistent part of our lives. 

Be opinionated with yourself not others. 

Many Christians make themselves and others miserable because their way is the “right way” and often the “only way.” Too many of have bought into the lie that, “my opinion is the only one that matters.” But why should my opinion matter? The truth is, in most cases it doesn’t matter. In the end, my opinion is just my opinion. There’s a huge gap between having an opinion and being opinionated. If God’s Word doesn’t clearly state it, don’t arrogantly force your opinion on others. Highly opinionated Christians suffer from a “humility-allergy.” Strong opinions edge out godly humility. The key to holding healthy opinions is to remember that the only opinion that truly matters is the Lord’s and to continually seek His input through Scripture and prayer. 

Ours is a selfish world that’s going the wrong way. Christians are to be different. We are to be humble, selfless and self-sacrificing just like Jesus.