F.R.I.E.N.D.S. 

• Fight for you
• Respect you
• Include you
• Encourage you
• Need you
• Deserve you
• Stand by you

When Terra Haute, Indiana Police Officer Rob Pitts was shot and killed in the line of duty he left behind a wife and 5-year-old son, Dakota. When Dakota went back to school, he asked his mom if one of his dad’s friends could drive him to school. That morning Dakota arrived at school to find 70 Terre Haute police officers and sheriff’s deputies waiting for him. The SWAT team even presented Dakota with his own shirt and badge.

“He will definitely know his dad was a hero. Blood doesn’t always make family, and I think the blue family went above and beyond” Kelli Jones, Dakota’s aunt, said. Colleagues of Officer Pitts said that they wanted Dakota to know they will always have his back. 

Having been a police chaplain nearly 25 years, I know from experience that police officers always have each other’s backs. They bleed blue! Yet, if anyone should have each other’s backs, it should be us – Christ-followers, brothers and sisters in Christ. 

Recently, I experienced that – a fellow Christian had my back. Someone had gossiped and said some very hurtful things about me. Yet this fellow Christian spoke up and held them accountable. 

Sadly, it’s rare for Christians to have their pastor’s back. It’s rare even for brothers and sisters in Christ to have each other’s back. Most of us are either silent or quick to throw a fellow believer under the bus. Cops bleed blue. As Christ-followers, we need to bleed Jesus. What does it mean for Christians to have each other’s backs? 

We help carry each other’s burdens. 

We all have them and some become very heavy. We need someone to come alongside to help us. We usually step in if there’s a medical situation but what if it’s a problem child, an unravelling marriage, extreme work stress or emotional burdens. Galatians 6:2 commands us to bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. Usually, just knowing someone cares can make a big difference. 

We encourage each other. 

Christians are commanded to encourage each other and build each other up (1 Thessalonians 5:11). This means helping others grow in their faith, rather than discouraging or tearing them down. 

When I get Home, I’m looking up Barnabas. In the early days of the fledgling church in Jerusalem, he was such an encouragement to the body of Christ that they didn’t call him by the name given by his parents. They simply called him, “Son of Encouragement.” It’s what the name “Barnabas” means. Every church needs more Barnabases or Barnabasettes, more encouragers. When Paul became a Christian, he tried to join the church in Jerusalem. But they refused him because he’d been their persecutor and were afraid it was a ploy. But Barnabas took a risk. He reached out to Paul and brought him into the church. Later, when John Mark washed out and ran home, who gave him another chance and restored him – Barnabas!

We seek to restore each other, not judge each other. 

Southern Baptist evangelist, Freddie Gauge observed, The Christian army is the only army that shoots and buries its wounded. The media loves “gotcha moments. Too often the forgiven people of God do too. 

We all blow it. We all sin. The Christian life wasn’t designed by God to be a solitary journey. Spiritual growth flourishes when we’re united, sharing burdens and celebrating our victories together. This “power of we” is the divine design, fostering empathy, support, and collective action. 

If there’s ever a time when we need our spiritual family, it’s after we blow it. Recently, I read John in my personal devotions. That last chapter when Jesus restores Peter after he’d denied Jesus three times should bring tears to our eyes. It’s what we must do for each other. When a Christian blows it and repents, we should be running down the lane like the prodigal son’s father to welcome them back home.  We’re to be the cheerleading section! 

Someone might say, “But they’ve blown it so many times…” Yeah, me too! The Christian life is one of continually turning back to the Savior and letting Him clean up the mess of sin in our lives. 

We seek to protect each other. 

Just as soldiers watch out for each other on a battlefield, Christ-followers must defend and support each other against spiritual struggles. Or, if someone gossips or complains about a fellow believer, instead of being a willing listener, we need to encourage them to go talk to the one who offended them and seek to problem-solve (Matthew 18:15). Letting an offense fester only turns into bitterness. 

Usually, if we’re honest, the ones whose backs we have are those who are in our friend circle. We’re slow to have the back of someone who is not a friend or family. The Bible doesn’t give us that option. We grow as we minister to those who aren’t close to us yet are fellow Christians. That’s what God has called us to, even if we don’t dot all our theological i’s the same. We are family!

The Christian life is so much easier if someone helps us along the way – they listen to us, encourage us, walk with us. In a study on friendship, 34 college students were taken to the bottom of a hill and given a weighted backpack, then they were asked to estimate the angle of the hill’s steepness. The students who were standing alone estimated the hill to be much steeper than those standing alongside a friend…and the longer they’d known the friend, the less steep the hill seemed to them.

When we know someone “has our back,” even if they can’t shoulder our weight for us, our climb is easier, our steps are surer, our load is lighter, our day is less troublesome. 

We’re all capable of being intermediaries between another person and the callings God places in our lives…in good times or challenging ones. We can be intercessors when there are new opportunities just as much as we can when there’s trouble. We can be channels of encouragement when days are promising or when they’re wearying. We can be agents of peace when anxiety rules and we can be sources of hope for someone discouraged. All around us are brothers and sisters with various needs. Dakota Pitts knew that his dad’s fellow officers had his back. Do our brothers and sisters in Christ know that we’ve got theirs?