Many a mom wonders if she is ever seen. Often there comes a point where a mom begins to think that she’s invisible. Nicole Johnson wrote a powerful article about it called, “I Am Invisible.” Here’s a portion of it:

It started to happen gradually. One day I was walking my son Jake to school. I was holding his hand, and we were about to cross the street when the crossing guard said to him, ‘Who is that with you, young fella?’ ‘Nobody,’ he shrugged. Nobody? The crossing guard and I laughed. My son is only 5, but as we crossed the street I thought, ‘Oh my goodness, nobody?’

I would walk into a room, and no one would notice. I would say something to my family – like ‘Turn the TV down, please’ – and nothing would happen. Nobody would get up or even make a move for the remote. I would stand there for a minute, and then I would say again, a little louder, ‘Would someone turn the TV down?’ Nothing.

Just the other night my husband and I were out at a party. We’d been there for about three hours, and I was ready to leave. I noticed he was talking to a friend from work. So, I walked over, and when there was a break in the conversation, I whispered, ‘I’m ready to go when you are.’ He just kept right on talking.

That’s when I started to put all the pieces together. I don’t think he can see me. I don’t think anyone can see me. I’m invisible.

All of us feel invisible from time to time, yet this seems to be a malady which more frequently affects mothers. It’s very sad, but it’s not new. 

In the book of Genesis there was a mother who felt invisible. She was also mistreated and abused, Hagar. You’ll find her sad story in Genesis 16.

Though pregnant because of the abuse she fled. She didn’t believe that anyone cared BUT God cared. He always cares and intervened for her. And when Hagar realized that God saw her when no one else seemed to, she called out to Him and gave Him the name, a Hebrew name – El Roi, which means “the God who sees me.” With God, a mother is never invisible. 

It means that God sees a mother when there is ingratitude.

Wives and mothers are generally responsible for a larger share of household chores than men, with studies indicating they perform around 58% to 72% of the housework. Often all of this is just done with little or no notice. It’s virtually invisible. It’s expected and accompanied by little if any gratitude. 

Yet, mothers don’t owe it to their families or spouses. There’s no rulebook or command that this is what they must do. It’s a gift of love.

Now I will freely admit household chores are not my greatest gift. I’m sure that I could figure it out by reading the instruction manual and watching a few YouTube videos, yet just our washing machine and dryer are so complicated that it nearly takes an engineering degree to run them. It’s also just another indication that my wife, particularly when it comes to gadgets, is smarter than me.  

Yet, my wonderful wife continually makes sure that I have clean clothes. She doesn’t owe me, and I hope Jane never feels invisible. But I know that taking care of others, particularly young children, can cause a mother to feel invisible. No one seems to see the diaper changes or meeting the constant demands of young children. Add to that, our culture teaches that value comes from work and a career not motherhood. No mother will have a greater impact on this world than by raising a child well and for the Lord.  

It means that God sees a mother when she feels she’s lost personhood. 

Tragically, this can increase with age when a woman feels no longer noticed or valued in a world obsessed with youth, beauty and sexuality. There are some advantages in our sex obsessed culture of receiving less unwelcome advances by men. Yet, mothers and grandmothers can feel overlooked or dismissed in ways they didn’t in their younger years.

Friends, family, or even strangers often do not give the same level of attention to older women. Even in the media there’s a notable scarcity of older and mature women in television, film, advertising, and social media, reinforcing this invisibility.

It means that God sees a mother when there is mistreatment.

Even in our liberated world, the statistics are horrifying.  In the United States, nearly every 1 in 2 women report experiencing intimate partner violence at some point in their lifetime. Over 47% of women have suffered sexual violence, physical violence, or stalking by an intimate partner during their lifetime. Many mothers will suffer silently, willing to take a physical blow from a spouse or boyfriend so that their children have a roof over their heads and food in the refrigerator.

The more common mistreatment is emotional and verbal. And it truly is invisible because it leaves no marks. Often behind closed doors, there are demeaning names or condescending treatment as if they don’t matter or are intellectually limited…just because they are a woman. Essentially, they’re bullied. Many times, it’s a constant threat of abandonment or divorce.  

As a loving God saw Hagar when no one else did in all her pain and distress, He sees you. He not only created you, He designed you. He loves you and you are precious to Him!  

Often, it can feel that you’re just a number but never with a loving, infinite God. The One who knows when a sparrow falls (Matthew 10:29), knows when you feel invisible or unappreciated, or as if you have lost personhood or are abused. He sees you even when you wonder if anyone knows that you even exist. He’s the loving Father that we all long for! 

I’m glad that we have a national holiday to honor mothers. All of us have one and we need the reminder to appreciate the one who gave us life and usually cared for us, sometimes when it seemed that no one else did. 

Yet, as one reads the Genesis account, it’s noteworthy that God didn’t create Eve as a mother. Check it out for yourself. God created Eve as a woman. That means whether you’re a mother, grandmother, single or never married, divorced, or widowed – you’re valuable and outstandingly visible to God. He personally designed, created you and planned your life! 

There’s a legendary story told of a rich man who visited a magnificent cathedral while it was being built. As he observed the workmen, he noticed one workman diligently carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was very puzzled and finally asked the man, “Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it.” This workman wisely replied, “Because God sees.” And He does! His name is El Roi. He’s the God who sees YOU!