Scripture: John 13:34-35
Sermon Series: One Another – Doing Church Life Together – Sermon 02
Are you a loving Christian? Do you love other Christians? Do you love your brothers and sisters in Christ? Loving each other is the foundation for all of the other one another commands. It’s why we’re beginning here. It’s essential that we get this.
We’re in our second study of our series, One Another – Doing Church Life Together. It’s easy to glibly respond that we love our brothers and sisters in Christ, yet when the rubber meets the road, it’s not always true. Most of us need to follow the example we find in the life of a Dr. Evan Kane.
New York City, February 15, 1921. It’s the operating room of the Kane Summit Hospital. A doctor is performing an appendectomy. In many ways the events leading to the surgery are uneventful. The patient has complained of severe abdominal pain. The diagnosis is clear: an inflamed appendix. Dr. Evan O’Neill Kane (picture) is performing the surgery. In his distinguished thirty-seven-year medical career, Dr. Kane has performed nearly 4,000 appendectomies, so this surgery will be uneventful in all ways except two.
First, Dr. Kane is a crusader against the danger of general anesthesia. He contends that a local anesthesia is far safer, but that wasn’t the practice in 1921. While many of his colleagues agree with him, in order for them to buy in and use just local anesthesia, they will have to see if his theory works.
But a volunteer is hard to find. Many are very squeamish at the thought of being awake during their own surgery. Others are fearful the anesthesia will wear off too soon. Eventually, Dr. Kane finds a candidate and on Tuesday morning, February 15th, the historic operation occurs.
The patient is prepped and wheeled into the operating room. He’s given local anesthesia. As he has done thousands of times, Dr. Kane dissects the superficial tissues and locates the appendix. He skillfully excises it and concludes the surgery. During the procedure, the patient complains of only minor discomfort. The volunteer is taken into post-op, then placed in a hospital ward. He recovers quickly and is dismissed two days later. Dr. Kane had proven his theory. Thanks to the willingness of one brave volunteer, Dr. Kane demonstrated that local anesthesia was viable and even a preferable alternative. But as I said there were two facts that made this surgery unique.
The first was the use of local anesthesia. The second is the patient. You see, the courageous candidate for surgery by Dr. Kane was Dr. Kane. To prove his point, Dr. Kane operated on himself, removing his own appendix. He was his own patient to demonstrate that local anesthesia was better (picture).
James 1:22-25 says, “But be doers of the Word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the Word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like. But the one who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and perseveres, being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, he will be blessed in his doing.”
This morning I want to ask you to prayerfully do soul surgery as we work through today’s message and throughout this series. Are you living out these one another commands in your walk with the Lord? Your Christian life’s health, our church’s health and future depends on it.
In John 13, the night before He’s crucified, Jesus told His disciples: “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another” (vs. 34-35). This is so vital that Jesus makes it a new command. It’s The 11th Commandment: Love One Another.
God’s commands go against the focus on self and look out for #1 thinking of a lost world. The Bible teaches that our relationships are more important than our accomplishments. Jesus never demands that we accomplish great things. He demands that we strive for excellence in our relationships.
We all think love is a great idea until it means loving someone we don’t care for or unlike us or we discover what that person sitting near us is really like. Love is great until someone disagrees with you. Love is easy when all the birds are flying in the same direction, but they never will be – we’re all sinners. We offend, irritate and rub each other the wrong way.
It’s said of the Apostle John during his last days on earth that whenever John was asked to speak, he’d stand before the congregation and say, “Little children, love one another” and then he’d sit down. That was his entire sermon. Our Lord is telling us the same thing here at Grace Church, “Brothers and sisters, love each other.” If you’re taking notes…
1. Jesus defines love. Within 12 hours of giving this new commandment, Jesus would be nailed to the Cross. That same night Jesus said, “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13). He’s saying, “I’m going to demonstrate to you what love really is. Watch what happens to me tomorrow. I’m going to give my life for you.”
If there’s one verse you’ve memorized, it’s probably John 3:16 where we read that “God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son.” But there’s another John 3:16 about love you need to know, 1 John 3:16: “This is how we have come to know love: He laid down His life for us. We should also lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters.” In the Bible, love is laying down or giving away your life for others.
Most of us make two mistakes about love. First, some think love is a feeling – it’s an ocean of emotion or a quiver in your liver. We think it’s meeting someone we consider beautiful or handsome and suddenly we hear music.
And while love can produce feelings, Jesus taught that love isn’t a feeling. Love is a choice. God chose to love us. Jesus chose to lay down His life.
The second mistake is thinking that love is some uncontrollable force. They’ll say, “I just fell out of love with that person.” You don’t fall out of love; you fall out of trees. Or they’ll say, “I couldn’t help it, I fell in love with that person.” You don’t fall in love; you fall in holes.
Part of our confusion is caused by the limitations of our English language. In English we only have one word for love. But God wrote the New Testament in one of the most expressive languages in history, Koine Greek. If you remember the Dad in My Big Fat Greek Wedding (picture), he was right. Almost all of our English words come from Greek root words!
There are four different words for love in Greek. If you want to know more about this, C.S. Lewis (picture) wrote a book entitled The Four Loves (picture). He described storge as affection. It appears once in the New Testament when Paul writes that we should be devoted to each other. Phileo refers to friendship. In the Bible it’s translated as brotherly love. It appears 21 times in the New Testament. When Jesus wept at Lazarus’ tomb people said, “see how He loved him”—the word love was phileo. Eros is romance and doesn’t appear in the New Testament. We get our word erotic from it. The last word for love is agape. It’s the divine unselfish love that appears hundreds of times in the New Testament. Jesus used agape in John 13 when He said, “Love one another as I have loved you.” If we want to love the way Jesus loves, we must practice agape. Agape is not a feeling; it’s a choice. It’s unselfish love, expecting nothing in return. It’s divine love. You can’t practice agape without a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.
Agape loves even in the face of hate. Mark Buchanan (picture) writes in his book, Hidden in Plain Sight, “Agape chooses to love…in the face of betrayal, in the face of rejection, in the face of evasion, in the face of rank badness. It wills to love even when circumstances trigger instincts of anger or hurt, withdrawal or revenge. Agape is an unprovoked love.”
This the love we’re to show when Jesus commands us to love each other. Agape is unique for Christians and is only available to believers. That’s why it’s so important. You can’t practice agape love without being born-again. It’s a fruit of the Spirit. Being regenerate is the key to practicing agape love.
2. You can’t be a Christian and hate your brothers or sisters in Christ. Recently, I talked to a young pastor who was working through being attacked by a church member. He’d been counseling a man but the man didn’t like what he told him. My friend’s grandmother had recently passed away so this man in hateful venom said to him, “I’m glad that your grandmother died.”
We have a list of sins that we take seriously. Sadly, hating others isn’t usually one of them. Yet hating other Christians is an indication that maybe you’re lost. 1 John 2:9: “Whoever says he is in the light and hates his brother is still in darkness.” 1 John 4:15: “Everyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him.”
I wonder if it was Christians being hateful that caused Mark Twain (picture) to say, “If Christ was here now, there is one thing He would not be – a Christian.” This is very serious. A professing Christian who hates, despises or disdains other Christians should frighten us about their heart’s condition. I beg you, please don’t let hate live in your heart.
Dietrich Bonhoeffer (picture) was hated not only by the Nazis but by those in the German Church who supported Hitler. Wisely he wrote, “The exclusion of the weak and insignificant, the seemingly useless people, from a Christian community may actually mean the exclusion of Christ.”
J. Allen Blair (picture) in his book on 1 John, Living Confidently, shares this experience. Blair was preaching on this truth, that one can’t be a believer and have a grudge toward a brother or sister in Christ. At the conclusion of the message; he gave an invitation for those unsaved present to come forward to receive Christ. And one of the most active members in his church came forward. His first thought was that perhaps she’d misunderstood the invitation, she’d been a faithful worker in the church for years and gave every evidence of being a Christian, but she came to the front sobbing, tears dripping from her cheeks.
Dr. Blair asked her why she’d come forward and what decision she was making that morning. Quickly, she replied, “I came forward to be saved. My life has been a sham. I’ve merely gone through the motions. This morning for the first time I realized that my hatred for another woman had closed my door to Heaven. I want to experience God’s love through Christ so that I might reveal His love to the one I’ve despised for years.” Blair then writes, “And God did a wonderful miracle in her life that morning. Hatred was mastered by the love of Christ.”
Let me share an important sidenote – showing Christ’s love to brothers and sisters first starts at home in our marriages and families. My Dad was a leader in the church but would speak hatefully to my Mom. Sadly, I know from decades of ministry that that’s not uncommon. True Christians will first show Christ’s love to those closest to them.
3. This is radical. The New Testament teaches that the local church is to be the exact opposite of what we often experience in a lost world. A successful church according to the Bible isn’t one of great wealth, big buildings, political power, cutting edge technology, superior organization, great preaching, creative programs or huge crowds. The quality of relationships among believers, mutual love shared within the community of faith is what makes a church successful according to the New Testament.
A usual prayer meeting was held some years ago in Washington, D.C. by four men with drastically different backgrounds: ex “hatchet” Republican Charles Colson (picture); Democrat, and former alcoholic, Senator Harold Hughes (picture); former Black Panther, Eldridge Cleaver (picture); and a Ku Klux Klanner serving time for violence against blacks yet now involved in Prison Fellowship ministry. Despite racial, political and social differences, these four found fellowship through Christ’s forgiveness and His cross. That’s normal Christianity, but it’s sadly rare in the American church. Galatians 3:28: “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”
It’s a command. Jesus isn’t saying, “I’d PREFER you love one another” or “DO YOUR BEST—TRY to love one another.” No, our Lord uses the imperative voice. It’s a command. With the same authority that God said, “You shall not kill or steal or commit adultery,” He says, “You must love one another as I have loved you.”
It’s easier to see this was a command, when we remember the context in which it was issued. Jesus uttered these words on the night of His betrayal. His time with His disciples was short. It was no time to mince words. It was the time for final, no-nonsense orders!
This love is not an option for followers of Christ. Why does Jesus command us to love? Because there is a part of each of us that rebels against the idea of pure, unconditional love. Despite the example we have in Jesus’ undeserved, unconditional love for us – a part of us says such love is out of place in the world where we live. There’s a part of us that says –“sure, loving others is great – up to a point….”
We do that all the time. We draw a line and say, “That’s how much I’m prepared to love that person.” We draw a line and say, “That’s how far I’m ready to do a kind deed for someone else.” We draw a circle and say, “These are the people I’m willing to love.” We’re happy to love in a selective way. We’re comfortable with the kind of love that doesn’t make us uncomfortable.
We might be happy with that kind of love but it’s not what Jesus commands us to do. He said, “Love one another, just like I have loved you.”
It’s sacrificial. William Gladstone (picture), a member of the Parliament in the mid-1800s, announced the death of Princess Alice (picture) to the House of Commons. With the announcement he told this story.
The little daughter of Princess Alice was seriously ill with diphtheria. Doctors told the princess not to kiss her little girl because it would endanger her own life by breathing in the child’s breath. But once when the child was struggling to breathe, her mother, forgetting herself entirely, took the little girl into her arms to keep her from choking to death. Rasping and struggling for life, the child said, “Mumma, kiss me!” Only thinking about her dying child and without a thought for herself, Princess Alice tenderly kissed her daughter. She contracted diphtheria and soon after Princess Alice died.
Real love forgets self. It blows off danger and doesn’t count the cost. It’s sacrificial. That’s what Jesus is calling us to. Christlike love stands out like a candle in the darkness. It attracts the lost to God. They can’t understand it.
Because love is sacrificial it’s characterized by action. Love is always doing. When most people talk about love, they think feelings. But love is more doing than feeling. Love is a verb. It’s doing what’s best for others no matter what it costs you. Love demands action and love in action changes us!
Dr. George Crane (picture) told the story of a wife who came into his office full of hatred toward her husband. “I not only want to get rid of him, but I also want to get even. Before I divorce him, I want to hurt him as much as he has me.” So Dr. Crane suggested an ingenious plan. “Go home and act as if you really love your husband. Tell him how much he means to you. Praise him for every decent trait. Go out of your way to be as kind, considerate, and generous as possible. Spare no efforts to please him, to enjoy him. Make him believe you love him. And after you’ve convinced him of your undying love and that you cannot live without him, then drop the bomb. Tell him that you’re getting a divorce. That will really hurt him.”
So with revenge in her eyes, she smiled and exclaimed, “Beautiful, beautiful. Will he ever be surprised!” And she did it with enthusiasm. For two months she showed love, kindness, listening, giving. When she didn’t return, Dr. Crane called her, “Are you ready to go through with the divorce?” “Divorce?” she exclaimed. “Never! I discovered I really do love him.” Her actions of love had changed her feelings. That’s what happens to us. As we show love in action, it changes us. It changes our hearts.
Because love is sacrificial it’s not selective. Jesus acts in love toward everyone. He doesn’t pick and choose whom He loves. John 3:16, “For God so loved the (whole) world that He gave.” Jesus’ love reaches out to every human being who has ever been born or will be born. If we love like Him we will be just as inclusive in our love as He is.
It probably isn’t hard for you to think of a difficult person in our church. Maybe you attend a different service, trying to avoid them. In our broken, sin-filled world, they’re everywhere. Just because you’re in church, it doesn’t mean that there aren’t difficult people.
Someone suggested these types of difficult people. The Sherman TANK: They love to run over people. The SNIPER: sarcasm: rude remarks, and eye rolls. They like cutting people down. The KNOW IT ALL: Can’t stand being contradicted or corrected. The Grenade or VOLCANO: Explodes and creates scenes. The SHOTGUN: Shoots down any ideas. The WHINER: Constantly complaining. THUMB SUCKERS: Pouters, full of self-pity used as a leverage to manipulate others. The WET Blanket: Impossibility thinker who sees a problem to every solution. GARBAGE Collectors: Collect the negative experiences in their lives and the lives of everyone around them. The USER: Uses people for their own personal gain.
Jesus had His own team of difficult people – the disciples. But Jesus loved them and commanded them to love each other. We’re to do the same.
It’s our identification. “By this all people will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another” Let me pop up some logos and shout out what company they represent. Nike (picture). Apple (picture). Playstation (picture). Most Christians think that the cross is our logo. It’s not. Jesus said that our logo, our identification of being a Christ-follower is a deep, sincere love for brothers and sisters in Christ. In giving this command, Jesus did something the world had never seen before—He created a group identified by one thing: love.
There are many groups in the world. They identify themselves in a number of ways: by skin color, dress style, shared interest, politics, alma mater, etc. One dresses in a certain way; another abstains from certain foods; another is economically the same. The ways people categorize themselves are endless.
Christ’s church is unique. For the first and only time in history, Jesus created a group whose main identifying factor is love…for God, each other and a lost world. The other stuff is inconsequential. Followers of Christ are to be identified by their committed love for each other. So do those around us, does our community know that love for each other is our logo?
4. Some barriers to obeying this command to love one another. What keeps us from showing love to our brothers and sisters are usually good things. They’ve just grown out of control. In the front of our home we have a corkscrew weeping willow tree (picture). It’s a beautiful tree. I planted it when it was a sapling and watched it grow. But it got a lean in it and I didn’t deal with it when it was still small. Now the lean is ingrown. In the same way there are good things in our lives that we let overgrow and crowd out love and relationships with our brothers and sisters.
Busyness. It’s easy to be trapped in busyness. Justifying a busy life by saying, “I gotta do what I gotta do” can be an excuse to keep from building relationships. Relationships require committed, personal time. Many think that they have a relationship because they’re often in the same space or are friends on social media. Loving relationships take personal time investments
Self-love. 84% of Americans believe that “enjoying yourself is the highest goal of life.” Further, 86% believe that to enjoy yourself you must “pursue the things you desire most.” Self-love can slither in unnoticed and erect a competing throne that’s so like the one where God belongs, we’re unaware of the switch. It can live undetected in the hearts of many who profess to follow Christ. You can’t love self and love God, and you’ll never truly love other believers when you’re primarily self-focused.
Did you know that you’ll never find the term “personal Savior” in the Bible? While we must come to Christ individually, we are saved to be part of a family, a spiritual family – a family where we interact face to face.
Family. Let me be clear, your spouse, children and grandchildren are a blessing from God. Scripture is clear on that. Yet we have the tendency to worship the gifts rather than the Giver. For some Christians their family, kids, grandkids take so much focus, time and energy that their spiritual family never quite fits in.
A good way to evaluate this is if you don’t have any real relationships outside of your family, no real relationships with brothers and sisters in Christ, then things are out of balance. Other than a church service, you rarely interact with other believers in this church.
Understand, I’m not saying we should rid ourselves of our families. That would be wrong on the other side of the spectrum. What I’m urging is that we must place our families in their proper place and keep things in balance.
Conclusion: As church-going Americans we’ve been socialized to believe that our individual fulfillment and a personal relationship with God are more important than relationships with fellow Christians, our brothers and sisters in Christ. In a very subtle way we’ve been conformed to this world.
Brene Brown (picture) writes of being on her cell phone one time as she received a drink order in the drive-through lane at a fast food restaurant. She apologized as soon as she could get off the phone: “I’m so sorry. The phone rang right when I was pulling up and I thought it was my son’s school.” The woman serving her got tears in her eyes and said, “Thank you very much. You have no idea how humiliating it is sometimes. They don’t even see us.”
“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”
Do we even see each other? There are aged saints, young couples, single parents, teenagers, unmarried adults, busy professionals, empty nesters who are looking for someone to care. They’re looking for love. Jesus loves them. He died for them. Do we care? Do we love them? Do they know it? Are you consciously building loving relationships with your brothers and sisters in Christ in this church family?