Scripture: 1 Samuel 20:1-42
Sermon Series: 1 Samuel: God of Reversals – Sermon 21
It was just another day biking together for Debbie Nichols and her friend, Anne Hjelle (yella) (picture). At about 4 p.m., Debbie, an expert mountain bike racer, and Anne, a fitness instructor, set out on a bike trail in Whiting Ranch Wilderness Park, a wildlife habitat in Orange County, California. Debbie and Anne had ridden its trails many times in the three years they’d trained together. But the two friends encountered something out of the ordinary when they came upon a deserted bike a short distance up the narrow trail. Another biker was using his phone to report the abandoned bike, so the two women continued on, with Anne riding in front.
Seconds later, Anne disappeared from Debbie’s view as she turned a bend on the narrow trail. Immediately after that Debbie heard her friend screaming. “It was like no scream I’d ever heard before,” she said.
Debbie raced forward and turned the bend to see Anne on the ground in the embrace of a large mountain lion (picture). The cat had Anne’s face and neck in its jaws and was dragging her off into the thick brush. Just as Anne’s body was about to disappear into the brush, Debbie ran to Anne and grabbed her leg. A tug-of-war ensued between Debbie and the cougar as he pulled Anne into the brush. Anne, who remained conscious during the ordeal, later said she thought she was going to die until she heard Debbie yelling, “I’m never letting go of you, Anne! I’ll never let go!” That’s what friends do…they never let go!
As we continue our series in 1 Samuel, we’re looking at one of the most famous friendships in the Bible, the friendship between David and Jonathan. 1 Samuel 18:1 says, “the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.” The literal translation says that “the soul of Jonathan was chained to with the soul of David.” Soul Brothers. In other words the inner man of Jonathan was bound, as it were, with chains and linked inextricably with the inner man of David.
What makes their friendship unique? A covenant. Their friendship was formalized in a covenant. A covenant is much more than a promise in Scripture. That covenant, reaffirmed and extended, permeates this chapter and makes all of the difference. God has a covenant with Israel. God has a New Covenant with those who are born-again. Covenant is very important.
Because of their covenant David expects Jonathan to act with hesed toward him and Jonathan expects David to act with hesed to him. The Hebrew word hesed is used 250 times in the Old Testament. It means “deal kindly” or “show faithful” or “loyal love.” It’s not love, it’s devoted love. It’s not just kindness, it’s dependable kindness. Hesed is what God has for believers. It’s what God the Father has for His children. And hesed is what David and Jonathan had for each other. And hesed is what brothers and sisters in Christ are to have for each other. Because of Jesus every believer is to be a soul brother and soul sister. Our souls are chained to each other because of Christ.
This account of David’s final departure from Saul’s palace is one of the longest chapters in 1 Samuel. Length is often an indicator of importance.
As we look at David and Jonathan’s friendship, we learn about making commitments, acting on your commitments, and then following through on your commitments. In the process we are going to learn what it means for us to be soul brothers and soul sisters. If you’re taking notes…
1.Soul brothers and sisters are united by promises, vss. 1-24. With Saul laid out cold by the Holy Spirit as he “prophesies” in chapter 19, David took the opportunity to run for his life. But where did he run? Two miles back to Gibeah. Back to the home of his best friend, Jonathan.
Who were David and Jonathan? Jonathan was the son of Saul, the first king of Israel. Born into royalty, he had everything a person could ever want, but Jonathan was not content with a life of privilege. He loved God and was a brave warrior. David couldn’t have been born into more different circumstances. The youngest of eight sons and underestimated because of his size, David had a heart for God and was eventually anointed by Samuel to be the next king of Israel. Though they came from radically different backgrounds, David and Jonathan formed a strong bond of friendship.
When David defeated Goliath, Jonathan was the first to recognize David’s God-given strength and faith. From then on, Jonathan was a close friend and confidant to David. They covenanted to be there for each other.
Humanly speaking, they never should have been friends. Unlikely individuals often are closer than brothers. Former Nixon aide and Watergate criminal, Chuck Colson (picture) who later became a Christian talks about the first Bible study he attended after coming to Christ. Two of the key men in the group were Senator Harold Hughes, a liberal Democrat from Iowa, and Representative Al Quie, a conservative Republican from Minnesota. Colson said these two men had strong political convictions and rarely voted on the same side on any issue. Yet as brothers in Christ, they loved each other and were willing to die for each other. That was David and Jonathan.
But now they are facing a crisis. Do you want to know what your friendship is made of, face a crisis together? They model valuable lessons for us of covenant fidelity.
Godly friends listen and are open. David escaped Saul four times in chapter 19. Three times now he’s had to dodge Saul’s spear. Hoping he was wrong, yet fearing that he was right, he went to his best friend’s home to discuss the situation with him. In fact, David is looking in the mirror, questioning what he could be guilty of. “What have I done? What is my guilt? And what is my sin before your father, that he seeks my life?” (20:1).
Jonathan is in the dark. He doesn’t know about all of this. While he knows that his father, Saul, is a bit unhinged, he doesn’t want to believe that Saul has taken out a contract on David. Matthew Henry (picture) explains, “Jonathan, from a principle of filial respect to his father, was very loth to believe that he designed or would ever do so wicked a thing.” Jonathan doesn’t want to believe it but he’s open. He’s not blindly loyal.
How open are we? Are we inflexible in our opinions? Want to know how open you are? Let someone tell you that your child is misbehaving.
David looks first at his own heart and life. Jonathan doesn’t want to jump to the worst conclusion. They’re an example to us. When there is a relational breakdown, we need to suspect the sinner that we know best, as David does, ourselves. But then like Jonathan, we don’t want to be blindly loyal. Both are open, willing to look deeper.
True friends help friends work through biblical realities. Both want to be convinced that their assessment is accurate. They flesh out James 1:19, “let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.”
Godly friends trust God and put His will first. Kay Poe and Esther Kim (picture) grew up as best friends and fierce competitors. Their sport was taekwondo that was featured for the first time in the 2000 Sydney Olympics.
As Kay and Esther got older, they found themselves in different weight classes, so they rarely met in competition. In the pre-Olympic trials they were each favored to win their classes. There was one problem. The United States would be sending representatives from only two of the four weight classes to the Olympics. Only one of them would be able to go to Sydney.
In the final moments of the last bout in her weight class Kay dislocated her kneecap. In spite of her injury, she fought strongly enough to win the match and her division. As she hobbled off the floor, her Olympic dreams seemed over. She still had one more match to win—this one against her friend Esther Kim. Esther saw her coach carrying Kay back to the dressing room. The outcome of the final match was a no-brainer. All Esther had to do was show up and she was on her way to the Olympics. Her injured friend didn’t have a chance. But Esther knew that Kay was the better athlete. So in a moment of incredible love and sacrifice, she made a decision to bow out of the final match and concede victory to her injured friend. She gave up her Olympic dream so Kay could realize hers. When Esther informed Kay of her decision, Kay protested. “Don’t you dare argue with me about this,” Esther told her. They held each other and cried. “Please don’t think I’m throwing my dreams away,” Esther said, “because I’m not. I’m putting my dreams in you.”
Esther signed the scorecard, withdrawing from the match. Then the two friends had to bow to each other on the mat to make it official. Kay’s coach helped her walk to one side of the mat. Esther walked to the other. By the time they reached the referee in the middle, tears flowed freely. The two young women bowed. The referee signaled Poe the winner. Then the women locked arms, sobbing. As they slowly walked off the mat together, the officials stood and bowed while fans applauded them both. Esther later told stunned reporters, “There’s more than one way to be a champion.”
“There’s more than one way to be a champion.” David and Jonathan were champions because they put God first and their friend first.
In a world where we strive to be number one, Jonathan acknowledging and surrendering the throne to David is shocking. God’s plan was first for Jonathan. All that he asked of David was that he remember him and his family, and not exterminate them as was common with a change in dynasties.
Jonathan is a model of trust, obedience and submission. Godly people support God’s plan even when it demands self- denial, sacrifice and puts us in harms way. Jonathan realizes God’s hand is in this and that he’s a tool in God’s hand. Notice that in verse 13 he warns David that if there’s danger, he will send David away, but in verse 22, Jonathan acknowledges that it is the Lord that will send David away.
If there was anyone that humanly speaking David should not have trusted, it was Jonathan. Jonathan had everything to lose. David confesses how precarious his situation is, “truly, as the Lord lives and as your soul lives, there is but a step between me and death” (vs. 3). Yet, that’s true of all of us, we just don’t know it.
Monday morning I’m at Planet Fitness and the police department called me in to come minister to a family. A 63-year- old from Milwaukee was working at a local factory, had a heart attack and went into eternity. All of us are one step away from eternity. We must live our lives so we’re ready to step into God’s glorious presence. My friend, are you ready to step into eternity?
Jonathan is not just an ideal friend, he’s the ideal disciple. Jonathan sees David and knows that God is at work in David to save his nation. If he wanted to be a part of it he had to surrender the throne. He had to become less so that David could become more.
In a similar way we must surrender the throne of our life to Christ. Like Jonathan, we must give up our rights to rule. We’re to proclaim Jesus as our Lord and King, not just with words but with our lives. As John the Baptist said of Jesus, “He must increase, but I must decrease” (John 3:30).
Have you surrendered your life to Christ? The only way to have real life is to stop trying to rule it, stop trying to take control, and begin following God’s chosen King. It’s in self-renunciation that we gain a future and a hope. Discipleship is about following Christ as king and surrendering self-rule.
Godly friends keep their promises. Covenant is a bit like a “no compete clause” yet so much more. Both Jonathan and David promise mutual protection. What faith Jonathan had! He’s the prince, David is the fugitive, yet he asks David to show him and his family “hesed” or steadfast love (vss. 14-15) by not exterminating them. Both promise to protect the other and their families. When David is king, he cares for Jonathan’s son, Mephibosheth.
Marriage is a covenant. It’s not just between husband and wife, it’s before God. I’ve been blessed to see those who take that covenant seriously. When the founding pastor of this church, Reuben Kile, was up in years, his wife, Sandy, had Alzheimer’s and Reuben took care of her.
As believers, we’re part of the New Covenant. We remember that at Communion. It should break our hearts when brothers and sisters in Christ are unkind to each other. We’re family. Gospel preaching churches aren’t in competition. We are partners together seeking to advance Christ’s Kingdom.
Recently, a megachurch pastor publicly took a position that I believe Scripture teaches is wrong but he’s not our enemy. We need to pray for and love each other. If we in the church don’t understand covenant and covenant love, how can we offer God’s love to a lost world? Jesus told us that a lost world will know that we are His disciples by our love for each other.
David and Jonathan took their promises seriously. Do we? How you treat your spouse, how you treat your brothers and sisters in Christ, all those show if you truly understand covenant.
Godly friends do the right thing no matter what. Personally, I can’t be too hard on David for coming up with this plan to deceive Saul. Most of us have never had someone plotting to kill us. But David was acting out of fear not faith. The same God who delivered him from the bear and lion and given him victory over Goliath, could protect him from little old Saul.
He didn’t need to concoct this story about going to Bethlehem. Remember though that this is a narrative. When reading narrative we’re given what happened, not necessarily what should have happened. We must make a distinction between what the Bible reports and what it recommends.
In a time of weakness David loses sight on God’s promises and he schemes. Living by faith is living without scheming. While we can understand why, it doesn’t excuse it. Lying is wrong. Surely there was another way they could have discerned Saul’s intentions. Alan Redpath (picture) acknowledges “I find it tremendously comforting that the Bible never flatters its heroes. It tells the truth about them no matter how unpleasant it may be, so that in considering what is taking place in the shaping of their character we have available all the facts clearly that we may study them.”
Fear has a way of motivating us to fudge our ethics. David had the right motive, but the wrong method. Our world has little regard for truth. But Jesus said, “I am the truth” (John 14:6). As Christ-followers, we must be people of truth. Yet, we find that lying is so tempting. We rationalize that it’s easier to lie than to deal with the consequences.
We never have to lie. Can I suggest a solution that works well in most situations? Just don’t answer the question. Most of the time we’re not obligated to answer every question. Gracious silence is better than deception.
2. Soul brothers and sisters defend each other (p. 243), vss. 25-34: “The king sat on his seat, as at other times, on the seat by the wall. Jonathan sat opposite, and Abner sat by Saul’s side, but David’s place was empty. Yet Saul did not say anything that day, for he thought, ‘Something has happened to him. He is not clean; surely he is not clean.’ But on the second day, the day after the new moon, David’s place was empty. And Saul said to Jonathan his son, “Why has not the son of Jesse come to the meal, either yesterday or today?” Jonathan answered Saul, ‘David earnestly asked leave of me to go to Bethlehem. He said, ‘Let me go, for our clan holds a sacrifice in the city, and my brother has commanded me to be there. So now, if I have found favor in your eyes, let me get away and see my brothers.’ For this reason he has not come to the king’s table.’ Then Saul’s anger was kindled against Jonathan, and he said to him, ‘You son of a perverse, rebellious woman, do I not know that you have chosen the son of Jesse to your own shame, and to the shame of your mother’s nakedness? For as long as the son of Jesse lives on the earth, neither you nor your kingdom shall be established. Therefore send and bring him to me, for he shall surely die.’ Then Jonathan answered Saul his father, Why should he be put to death? What has he done?’ But Saul hurled his spear at him to strike him. So Jonathan knew that his
father was determined to put David to death. And Jonathan rose from the table in fierce anger and ate no food the second day of the month, for he was grieved for David, because his father had disgraced him.”
Virginia Slims (picture), a cigarette brand for women had as their slogan, “You’ve come a long way, baby.” That’s Saul. He’s gone from a shy young king to a raging despot. A chill in our relationship with heaven is always followed by a chill in our relationships down here.
Already in a foolish vow Saul had threatened Jonathan’s life. Jonathan knows full well what he’s risking defending David. Someone exposed to the light and turns from it, often becomes a moral degenerate.
Joseph Stalin (picture) attended seminary yet went on to be responsible for more deaths in the Soviet Gulag than Hitler. While Hitler was responsible for the deaths of 15 million, Stalin was responsible for the deaths of 60 million.
Honoring the Lord can cost you your closest relationships. Sometimes God protects His chosen servants through other faithful servants who are willing to put God’s agenda before themselves and self-interest. That’s Jonathan.
Saul is fearful and suspicious. He sits against the wall as a means of self-protection. He has suspicious thoughts on why David is absent. Whereas love creates friends, envy births enemies.
He noticed David’s absence, but since it was a ritual feast, he reasoned David had some kind of ritual defilement. Apparently, it didn’t occur to Saul that after attempting to kill David three times with a spear, David might not want to sit with Saul during dinner when Saul has a steak knife.
The second day, David’s place was still empty, so Saul asked Jonathan where David was. Jonathan responded with the proposed lie.
Unlike Saul, Jonathan wasn’t a good liar. Jonathan used slightly different words than David requested. The phrase “let me get away” may have inadvertently given away the game. In Hebrew, the word Jonathan used means “let me escape.” It was the same word used earlier to describe David successfully eluding other attempts on his life. Jonathan didn’t mean to tell his father that this was another of David’s escape attempts but since he wasn’t a good liar, he let it slip.
Saul erupts. He’s so unbalanced that he tells Jonathan on one hand that he ought to be concerned about perpetuating his kingdom but in the next he throws a spear at him. If he wants Jonathan to succeed him, that’s not going to work if Jonathan is dead from a spear wound. Then Saul does a crude slam on Jonathan’s mother, accusing her of being a perverse woman, guilty of infidelity. In reality Jonathan is the son of a perverse man.
Saul is a miserable human being and makes everyone around him miserable. We will continually meet people like Saul. They usually aren’t hard to identify. They’re angry at everybody and seem to specialize in making other people miserable.
Cruel words are like toothpaste. They come out of the tube very easily but you can’t put them back in. If you have come from a home with an abusive parent, you know how painful those kinds of words can be.
Confronted by Saul’s outburst, Jonathan asks for an explanation and has a spear thrown at him, so he leaves. He’s rightfully angry, too, but he doesn’t return anger for anger.
When hate fills your heart, it’s revealed by what you say. Saul’s outburst reveals his motive for wanting David dead, “you and your kingdom” (vs. 31). Saul will do anything to protect his already doomed kingdom. God had already made it clear that none of Saul’s sons would ever reign. Saul is fighting a losing battle against God’s will.
Many Christians are obsessively despondent about our nation. But why are we overly concerned about a “kingdom” that’s passing away? I’m not advocating apathy, I’m just urging some perspective. Too many believers are concerned about saving our nation, yet apathetic about saving their neighbor.
Jonathan’s priority is God’s plan not Saul’s. He remains faithful to the covenant even if it costs him the goodwill of his father.
Think how horrible this is! When Saul hardened his heart against the Lord, he had no idea he’d degenerate to the point where he’d attempt to murder his own son. He didn’t take seriously sin’s perverting power. Do we?
It’s a warning for us. If we dabble in sin, and instead of repenting, we harden our hearts against the Lord and continue in sin, we’ll be horrified when we see what sin will do when left unchecked. It will lead us to places we don’t want to go, and we will do things we never imagined we would do. Sin leeches into all aspects of our hearts, turning us into evil people like Saul.
3. Soul brothers and sisters encourage each other (p. 244), vss. 35-42. “In the morning Jonathan went out into the field to the appointment with David, and with him a little boy. And he said to his boy, ‘Run and find the arrows that I shoot.’ As the boy ran, he shot an arrow beyond him. And when the boy came to the place of the arrow that Jonathan had shot, Jonathan called after the boy and said, ‘Is not the arrow beyond you?’ And Jonathan called after the boy, ‘Hurry! Be quick! Do not stay!’ So Jonathan’s boy gathered up the arrows and came to his master. But the boy knew nothing. Only Jonathan and David knew the matter. And Jonathan gave his weapons to his boy and said to him, ‘Go and carry them to the city.’ And as soon as the boy had gone, David rose from beside the stone heap and fell on his face to
the ground and bowed three times. And they kissed one another and wept with one another, David weeping the most. Then Jonathan said to David, ‘Go in peace, because we have sworn both of us in the name of the Lord, saying, ‘The Lord shall be between me and you, and between my offspring and your offspring, forever.’ And he rose and departed, and Jonathan went into the city.”
In the closing seconds of the AFC Championship Game between the Chiefs and the Bengals, Bengals defensive end Joseph Ossai (picture) was called for an unnecessary roughness penalty, which set up the winning 45-yard field goal for the Chiefs. It was agonizing to watch him crying while sitting on the bench all alone after the game. As cameras zoomed in, one of his teammates came over and sat down next to him. Then, while being interviewed in the locker room after the game, teammate BJ Hill (picture) stood right next to him to provide support. With a look of compassion on his face, he answered a question for Joseph. Later in the interview, he became exasperated with the journalist and said, “Ask another question, bro!” BJ Hill never left Ossai’s side during the interview. When asked what it meant to have a friend rally around him, while others turned on him, Ossai replied, “It’s given me peace right now.” Joseph Ossai, a 22-year-old from Nigeria, needed a friend when he was at the bottom. That’s what Jonathan did for David.
As previously agreed, Jonathan sends David the message. He must go into political exile. Life will never be the same. David is overwhelmed. The scene is packed with raw emotion. The bowing seems to be a result of David being overwhelmed with emotion as he weeps with a broken heart.
How can Jonathan say, “Go in peace?” There’s nothing peaceful about these circumstances. God’s peace isn’t the absence of trouble, it’s calmness in the midst of it. We don’t have peace because things are peaceful. We have peace because a greater one that Jonathan has pledged His loyal love to us.
Jesus said, “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world” (John 16:33).
Many of the really important spiritual decisions we make are like this. We must do the right thing, but it doesn’t mean that it’s easy.
This one brought tears and sorrow. Both of them were mature enough as believers to know it’s more important to do the right thing than to cling to your privileges. Both were brave and courageous. The bravery they possessed was never more tested than here. But in the midst of the pain and heartbreak, they encourage each other.
Do you have brothers and sisters around you that need encouraging? Are you an encourager? Maybe you’re facing some hard, even heartbreaking decisions. Will you let a brother or sister know so they can encourage you?
Jonathan and David had sworn an oath of loyalty. Both of them had confidence in each other to honor that oath. There’s nothing wrong with grieving. Commit to making the right choice and leave the results with God.
Conclusion: True friends will never let you go, like Anne Hjelle’s friend, Debbie Nichols. Like David and Jonathan. But if you’ve committed your life to Christ, you have a friend greater than all of those who will never let you go. His name is Jesus.
David and Jonathan are examples of what a friend should be, but Jesus is the perfect friend. You can run to Jesus in the worst trouble, worse than Saul hunting you down and He will always be there. If everyone else abandons you, He’s always there. He always loves you. When you need the truth, and nobody else will tell you, Jesus will always tell you the absolute, undeniable truth. In fact, Jesus did something for you that no other Friend can do – He died to save you from your sins. Jesus said, “ Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13).
In David’s upside down world there was one place of sanity, one refuge found in the covenant with Jonathan. So with us, there’s one place we can run; one dependable refuge that remains secure when our world turns upside down, a place where we can find hesed. It’s with the Lord Jesus.
In the various “Online Communities” like Instagram and Facebook, you have to make a “friend request” before you’re given access to a person’s page and become a part of their online “community.” If the other person denies the request, you’re excluded.
Jesus has requested to be our friend. That’s the continual message of the Bible. He invites you to be part of His eternal community. He wants to be your friend. But you must decide whether or not to accept Him. You accept His request by entering into a covenant with Him. In this covenant you acknowledge your sinfulness and your need for His sacrifice for your sin. You agree that you’ll commit yourself to following Him. He promises that He will never leave you or forsake you. He promises to guide and strengthen you. He promises to give you His abundant life now and take you Home to heaven when you die.
So here’s the question: Is Jesus your friend? Have you accepted His offer of friendship? Is Jesus your Savior and friend?
When you accept Jesus as your friend, you get a whole new family – soul brothers and sisters. You’ll have soul brothers and sisters that share God’s covenant and promises with you. You’ll have soul brothers and sisters that
will defend you and encourage you. You’ll have Jesus and you’ll have a Jonathan and a David. What are you waiting for? If you’ve never accepted Jesus’ friend request, please accept Him today.