Scripture: Luke 2:41-51
Sermon Series: Mary, He called her Mother – Sermon 07
Nearly every parent has gone through the panic of losing a child. Isn’t this a cute kid? (Picture) That’s our youngest, Aaron. Jane’s nickname for him was “The Happy Wanderer.” When he was around 2, just about the age in that picture, I was at the office, just across the parking lot in our old building and I got this frantic call from Jane. She can’t find Aaron.
We begin to scour the neighborhood. We’re in full panic mode. The other kids are looking. I think the neighbors were looking. About a half an hour passed and we got a phone call. Someone had found Aaron. He’d wandered at least two blocks and was in someone’s garage. They called the cops and there comes our little guy riding in the back of a police car. This did not look like it would bode well for his future.
We find a similar scene in Luke 2:41-51 (p. 806). It’s Oops, we lost God’s Son. Can you imagine how Mary and Joseph must have felt? Their panic, their fear? Interestingly, Luke begins the nativity narrative in the Temple and now ends it in the Temple. Luke often relates Jesus and His ministry to Judaism’s center of religious worship.
The Bible is silent about the lives of Jesus, Mary and Joseph from the time that they return from Egypt until Jesus began His public ministry at about the age of thirty—with one exception, this one. So, we know nothing of Jesus’ formative years other than this scene Luke shares. It’s also the last mention of Jesus’ stepfather, Joseph, and the first time that Jesus talks, where we have His words and perspective.
When you study the Bible, particularly when you study a narrative, you need to ask a key question: Why is this here? There were lots of interesting things about Jesus’ early life that we’d love to know, but God didn’t consider them important enough to include in Scripture. So, why is this here?
The key is found in verse 49. It’s in Jesus’ reply to Mary’s question. And [Jesus] said to them, “Why were you looking for Me? Did you not know that I must be in My Father’s house?” (Luke 2:49). We’re not sure how much He understood at this point, but Jesus knows who He is. It’s the most important question of all time – Who is Jesus? Luke’s focus is on Jesus’ deity and mission. This tells us everything about who He is and His mission.
Mary and Joseph though didn’t have the Gospel accounts to read as they’re raising Jesus. It must have been like putting a puzzle together without the picture on the box to look at. They’d get one piece here and another one there, and slowly it began to take shape, but it wasn’t always clear what the final picture would be.
It’s the second time that Luke writes that Mary treasured all these things in her heart (2:19, 51). She wondered, “Who is this unique Son of mine?”
Most people’s pictures of who Jesus is are foreign to what the Bible tells us. Most picture Jesus as some passive, starry-eyed mystic. That’s not Jesus.
Jesus is the God-Man. That’s the foundation of the Incarnation, God became man. The Gospel of John emphasizes Jesus’ deity, presenting Jesus as the Son of God. Luke though presents Jesus as the Son of Man emphasizing His humanity. It’s important that we keep the two natures of Christ together because, frankly, some tend to view Jesus, sort of like Data from Star Trek: The Next Generation (picture). He was more than human but not totally human. He was almost human but not quite human, and that’s sort of how some see Jesus. But Jesus wasn’t almost human. He was totally human. He wasn’t almost God. He’s fully God. He is both fully God and fully man. As man He showed us what it means to be truly human.
We’ll return later to, Who is Jesus? But like side dishes surrounding the main entrée, we want to focus on Jesus’ parents because like us they were very human. While Jesus is the only perfect child, His parents weren’t. What are the spiritual lessons they model for us? If you’re taking notes…
1. It’s vital for parents to have a habitual godly focus
If you ask ten parents what’s the most important thing to teach your children, you’ll get a ton of answers. You’ll hear that you need to teach them about respect and manners, to get good grades and have a work ethic. They need to know about good sportsmanship and tolerance. And while all of those are good things, if you never teach them Who is Jesus? what have you accomplished?
Pastor Phil Steiger (picture) writes: Heartbroken parents recently called on my wife and me, asking for help. Their son was in trouble with the law and facing jail time. As we sat in their family room, we talked, grieved and prayed together. They are Christian parents who love God but found themselves in a painful situation. “How did this happen?” they asked, as many parents have asked before. “Where did our foundation for biblical parenting go?” After years of comforting and supporting families through hard circumstances, I know that this teen’s life-changing decision wasn’t where everything went wrong. The real problem began much earlier. His poor decision represented many soul-forming choices over the years that left him unprepared for the moment when his character was truly tested.
I’ve had similar conversations with heartbroken parents. The more common one, and I had one recently, is with parents of an adult child. They’re heartbroken because a son or daughter has gone off the rails spiritually. Usually, it’s when they went off to college and because they don’t have a spiritual compass, they go with the pagan flow that surrounds them.
Notice that phrase, they went up according to custom (Luke 2:42). It was their habit to worship, to focus on God. We’re back to…Who is Jesus? If your children don’t know who Jesus is, the cost is not just for their eternity, it can have a generational cost on your grandchildren. But you must choose. You can’t have it all with sports, dance or work. There are more options than ever before. Most have no place for God or even the family.
It all begins with the parents having a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. Jesus can’t be just another app to hit every now and then. You can’t share what you don’t possess. Then, the Bible repeatedly talks about the importance of worship and gathering with the church family. Too often parents let other activities replace gathering with their spiritual family.
It’s rare for an adult to love Jesus and love His Church if it wasn’t modeled and they weren’t taught that in their home. For Mary and Joseph, it’s a priority. Please make it your priority.
The Old Testament required that every Jewish man appear before the Lord for three feasts each year. Passover is one of them. By Jesus’ time, it was customary for those some distance from Jerusalem to attend only one feast.
Mary and Joseph’s custom was to make the 80-mile journey from Nazareth each year for the Passover. This incident happened when Jesus was 12. We don’t know whether it was the first time He went with them, but it must have been exciting to leave their small town to go to Jerusalem for this celebration that drew thousands. It’s estimated that some 200,000 pilgrims attended.
Corporate worship was part of Mary and Joseph’s routine. They obeyed their Bibles. While the Mosaic Law required Joseph to be there, it didn’t require women. Only the most spiritually devoted women made the long trek. It’s no surprise to find Mary is one of them.
The Passover was a picture of Jesus’ mission. He was God’s Passover Lamb for our sins. The blood would be shed, put on the door posts (picture) just as Jesus’ blood would be shed on the cross so that God’s judgement passed over that home. Interestingly, the Law only required that you stay two days. That Mary and Joseph stayed the week indicated their fervency.
It’s nearly impossible to have the healthy spiritual life that God wants you to have if corporate worship isn’t a habit. Like ancient Jews, we don’t come as spectators, but as participators. If there’s any time we need to be fully engaged, it’s when we’re doing business together with a holy God. It’s good to discuss with your spouse and family afterwards the music and message.
Several centuries ago in Europe, a nobleman wanted to leave a legacy for his community, so he decided to build them a church. No one saw the complete plans until it was finished. When the people gathered, they marveled at its beauty and completeness. Then someone asked, “Where are the lamps? How will it be lit?” The nobleman pointed to some brackets in the walls, then he gave to each family a lamp that they were to bring with them each time they came to worship. Then he said, “Each time you’re here the area where you’re seated will be lit. Each time you’re not here, your area will be dark. This is to remind you that whenever you fail to come to church, some part of God’s house will be dark.” That nobleman understood something. There is power, there is light together in corporate worship.
As new covenant Christians, we have the joy and privilege of gathering every Lord’s Day to worship the living God together. There’s something powerful about a family sitting together in a worship service. Young people may be bored with what’s is going on, but they still get the message: My Mom and Dad are very active and busy, but each Sunday they stop everything to worship God. God must be important.
2. It’s easy to go into neutral so that we’re not paying attention to our children
Are you an addict? I struggle with it. Our phones are the “drugs” of our culture. I try to set mine aside and keep it on vibrate. We’re the distracted generation. When Jane is talking to me, I have to set it aside and turn it upside down.
My heart goes out to Mary and Joseph. Back then you didn’t pop in your car. It took 3 or 4 days to make the journey. The roads were dangerous, so you travelled in a caravan, traveling about 20 miles a day. Women and small children travelled at the front with men and older boys bringing up the rear.
It’s easy to see how they lost Jesus. He was a tween. He could fit in with either group. Mary thought Jesus was with Joseph, while Joseph thought He was with Mary. They travelled a whole day assuming Jesus was with the other parent. It wasn’t until they settled in for the night that they noticed Jesus was missing. That they hadn’t checked shows that they trusted Jesus and knew He was responsible enough to be where He was supposed to be. Would you want to be them? You’re responsible for God and you lost Him?
One mother forgot to take her son home after a birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese’s (picture). I can understand it. Have you been to Chuck E. Cheese’s? You can lose an elephant in there! What made this all the more dramatic was that it was his birthday party. The party went great. The problem came when all the children and adults climbed into three different vehicles and headed home. Everyone got in but Michael, the birthday boy. Apparently the 6-year-old returned to the play area and was left behind. Employees found him wandering around when they closed at 10:00. His mother assumed her son was staying with his grandmother and didn’t know he was missing until the next morning.
It’s easy to lose our kids, not physically, but in our focus. A toddler can ask the same question dozens of times an hour. It’s very common for them to repeat questions while learning and exploring their world.
Though sometimes you may need to, parents, though let me encourage you to not use your smart phone or TV as a perpetual babysitter. If they’re going to watch something, watch it with them. Read with them. Play with them.
This can be tougher for Dads. Studies indicate a father will talk to his child only seven minutes a day. And it needs to be a dialogue, not a monologue. Do you know what your children are interested in? What do they love? What they’re scared of? Many fathers wait until their children are teens to try to build a relationship with them. It begins during those early years.
I’m sure busyness played a part for Mary and Joseph. They weren’t busy with bad things, just busy. To be fair their busyness had a lot to do with good things. They’d been in Jerusalem to celebrate the Passover. That was good. Joseph needed to get back to the carpenter’s shop. Perhaps as he walked with the other men, he talked business and found new customers. That was good. Mary was tending to children and enjoying her friends. Those were good things. But in their busyness, they lost sight of the fact that with every step they were moving further away from God’s Son.
Busyness distracts us from Jesus. We become caught up with the here and now, losing sight of the there and then. We become so busy with life, that we lose sight of Jesus and real life. He takes a back seat to career, sports, school, holidays, yard work, etc. They’re good things, not bad ones. We just become so busy we miss the vital things. It’s why Jesus reminds us in Matthew 6:33, Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Slow down, take a breath, look around and find Jesus.
3. Parental anxiety is a huge temptation
Alfred Sacchetti (picture), an emergency room doctor in Camden, New Jersey, and spokesman for the American College of Emergency Physicians, says it’s common for parents to worry more about their child being abducted by a stranger than about his riding in a car without a seat belt or playing near an ungated swimming pool — even though car-and water-related accidents pose a far greater threat to kids than abduction. Unfortunately, a lot of what we’re exposed to on TV is designed to generate ratings rather than educate parents, says Sacchetti.
I’m sure Mary and Joseph were terrified. The passage says they were in distress. They’ve lost Jesus. I’m sure they hoped He was still back in Jerusalem, and nothing terrible had happened. But their minds were potentially imagining the worst. What about us?
Because of media hype a parent’s great fear today is child abduction. While 460,000 children go missing every year in the U.S.A, the vast majority have either wandered off or are runaways. If a child is abducted, it’s usually by a parent in a custody case. Do you want to know the statistics for a child being abducted by a stranger? Only 0.3% of missing children cases involve abduction by a stranger. That’s less than a third of 1%.
Fear is not from God. He doesn’t want us to live in fear. Psalm 127:3 says, Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord. Every child is a gift from God. The same God who gave them to us, can protect them! Instead of fearing for your children and what could happen, pray for them. And pray for their greatest need, spiritual needs, to know Jesus, to love and live for Him.
4. Too often parents have their own vision for their children
Jesus wasn’t living according to their expectations. “After three days they found Him in the temple, sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions. And all who heard Him were amazed at His understanding and His answers. And when His parents saw Him, they were astonished. And his mother said to Him, “Son, why have you treated us so? Behold, your father and I have been searching for you in great distress” (Luke 2:46-48).
Jesus was living for His Father; God, and He tells them that. Jesus is the Incarnate Son of God and He’s growing in His awareness of it. So, He doesn’t apologize. He hasn’t done anything wrong. Jesus never sinned. He’s living out His Father’s plan.
When Mary heard Jesus’ response, she caught a momentary glimpse of who He was. And He said to them, “Why were you looking for Me? Did you not know that I must be in My Father’s house?” (Luke 2:49).
One of the most misunderstood and misapplied verses in the Bible when it comes to parenting is Proverbs 22:6, Train up a child in the way that he should go; when he is old he will not depart from it. At first glance, this passage sounds like a promise that every God-fearing parent wants. But it’s not what God intended and it’s not what it means.
The word used for way means course for life, journey, or road. So, first this means godly direction. Secondly, it means cultivating what God has already instilled in our children. God made and designed each child individually. The reason Sally is not like Susie is because Sally isn’t Susie.
Many parents have a plan for their child that’s not God’s plan. A dad wants his son to take over the family business. A mom pictures her daughter’s wedding and future grandchildren. But what if those aren’t God’s plans? God designed your child. We must cultivate His design, not our dreams.
As shocking as it was to them, Jesus says that He’s in the temple involved in the things of HisFather. And we must commend Mary and Joseph. They were obedient to God in spite of being, for the most part, in the dark!
Have you ever said to God, “I’ll do whatever You’re asking me as long as you clear up some questions.” We have confidence in the will of God when it’s understandable. Most of us wouldn’t say, “I’m in the middle of God’s will and it’s so confusing!” But the parents of Jesus will remain confused, along with their later born children. In fact, they won’t believe Jesus’ claims – considering at one point that He’s lost His mind. They won’t have full light and understand until after Jesus’ resurrection from the grave.
God often puts His hand on a child at a young age. Even in my Jr Hi years, I had a passion for the ministry. When I was nine, I helped with a Sunday school in a housing project. I was fifteen when I was asked to lead my peers in Bible study and started preaching when I was 16.
Some would say there’s no way a 12-year-old could grasp his mission in life. That they’re too young to formulate a personal identity and mission. Not true. Read the biographies of leaders both inside and outside the church.
As Mary and Joseph saw it, Jesus was a boy, a boy incapable of making such critical decisions. A boy too young to be discussing the Scriptures with the finest teachers in Israel. But while He was a human being, He’s also God incarnate, just as the angel had said to Mary and Joseph years before.
On the divine level, God didn’t need to have man’s permission to act any way He saw fit, nor was it required of God to explain His actions. If it were any other child, we’d have sided with the parents, but since this child is the Son of God, we quickly acknowledge He was right. Jesus, unlike any other 12-year-old in history, was God. This is not the last time Jesus says or does the unexpected. Following Jesus nearly always involves the unexpected.
5. Parents are responsible for teaching their children to submit and obey
There’s a perfect example of submission at the end of this chapter. And He went down with them and came to Nazareth and was submissive to them (Luke 2:51). You’d almost expect to read, “They went down to Nazareth and they subjected themselves to Him.” Or read something like, “And Jesus moved into the Temple and became the youngest priest in the history of Israel.” No, Jesus goes back to Nazareth and remains under the authority of His parents. The verb tense indicates Jesus continually submitted to His parents’. Knowing who He was didn’t create pride or a condescending air toward His peasant parents. The dawning of this truth didn’t make Him less obedient; it profoundly highlights His obedience to them.
Do you know why it’s vital that you teach your children to obey? Because if they never learn to obey you, they’ll have difficulty ever obeying God…and every other authority from school to law enforcement to an employer.
Every parent needs to instill unquestioning obedience into their child. A child’s safety and life may depend on it. God wants to instill the same kind of obedience into His children. Sometimes obeying God won’t bring us into a place of safety, but into danger and harm. As soldiers of the cross, we must be ready and willing to obey our Commander without question or complaint.
What about you? Is there a matter where you know God’s will, but you’re refusing to obey? Whatever the hindrance, whatever the cost, obey Him. It’s the only way to have God’s hand of blessing on your life and have what Jesus called the abundant life.
Conclusion
Verse 51. And His mother treasured up all these things in her heart. Mary didn’t understand what God was doing. Can you relate? I sure can. If we always understand what God is doing, then maybe it’s not God doing it. So, as we tie this up, let me ask Two Questions:
Have you lost Jesus?
I don’t mean that you’ve lost your salvation. But as a Christ-follower, have you’ve lost fellowship with Christ? Are you involved in sin and think it’s okay to cover it over casually and superficially?
Mary and Joseph lost fellowship for three days. That’s not long in Christian terms, but it’s an eternity in parental terms. However long you’ve lost it, you’re able to recover it. You can have it restored if you come sorrowfully, godly sorrow works repentance. And you must come persistently, they didn’t look for a day for the Lord Jesus and then give up, they looked for three days until they found Him.
Where did they find Him? In the temple answering the questions of the theologians. But we don’t need a temple today. The place where we meet Jesus is at Calvary. How long has it been since you’ve been to the foot of the cross? How long has it been since you confessed your sins and repented of them? How long has it been since you’ve known true fellowship with Christ?
Circling back to the key to this passage: Who is Jesus? Jesus Christ was fully God and fully man. It’s only then that everything in this story makes sense. It’s easy to see why Jesus must be in His Father’s house. At the same time, it is easy to identify with the struggle this caused Mary and Joseph.
The acceptance or rejection of Jesus can be boiled down to the answer of that one question, “Who is Jesus Christ?” The rejection of Jesus by the scribes and Pharisees, who engineered His death, is explained by the fact that they rejected His claim to be the Son of God. Yet, accept the fact that Jesus is the Son of God and all else is but a logical outflow, all else that He said and did is reasonable, rational, undeniable. Reject this one fact and you must reject Jesus totally.
Who is Jesus?
Who do you think He is? The answer to that one question will settle the matter of your eternal destiny and establish who the authority is in your life. It will utterly rearrange your priorities and values.
The answer is, Jesus Christ is God Incarnate, who become a man and dwelt among men to reveal God to us, to reveal our sin, and pay the penalty for our sin by His death on the cross. And your response to the identity of Christ determines your identity. It determines your eternal destiny.
So, have you committed your life to Him? Are you part of God’s forgiven forever family? Or are you still lost, outside of His grace? My friend, which one are you?