We didn’t realize we were making memories, we just knew we were having fun. – Winnie the Pooh 

What’s your most powerful memory? One of the most effective ways to cultivate connections that are wholesome and long-lasting is to invest in positive memories. 

Jane and I are just returning from vacation. On vacation (or anytime) we never know what will happen. We make plans yet plans often unravel. 

Our adult children will tell of Jane and I often looking at each other, usually when we were driving and were lost, shouting together in unison, Pudding! It’s a line from a play from when we were in college, Pygmalion. When one of the characters wants a word to confirm that they’re on an adventure, he’d say, Pudding! Too many of us don’t have enough Pudding! in our lives. Pudding! is what our children will remember long after we are gone. 

Too many live “vanilla lives”. While there’s nothing wrong with a routine, most need to periodically break out of blasé lives. God never intended for us to live in the rigor mortis of “rut-ism.” A rut “is just a grave with both ends kicked out.”  

Cloe Madanes recounts a study of a couple that battled to survive a troubled marriage and conflicted relationship in an article in Psychology Today called, “Creating Good Memories.” Instead of giving up and walking away, this couple decided to seek counselling and find healing through the process of making positive memories together. The power of our relational connections is dramatically increased when we work to create memorable experiences together. 

For the next two weeks, the couple that was the subject of her study was to complete a unique activity that would result in the formation of a positive memory for the two of them. As a result, they were able to redirect their attention away from negative feelings in their relationship by concentrating on positive ones that came by making new positive memories. Not only were they able to bring out the best in themselves. They also brought out the best in each other.

Great memories don’t have to be expensive. That’s a marketing myth. You don’t have to go to Disney or on a cruise or someplace exotic. Daily life can be an adventure. Walking with the Lord is an adventure…ask any Christian who’s followed Him for a few years. 

One of my biggest adventures is watching the Lord answer my prayers. It’s astounding how I’ll pray about something. I’ll pray about a concern or a relationship, and the Lord takes care of it. Just recently, I had a big prayer concern answered that I’ve been praying about for well over a year. It was hard for me not to meddle or “help God out.” I’ve learned the hard way that my Heavenly Father doesn’t need my assistance. 

God wants the best for us! He didn’t design life to be endured. He designed it to be enjoyed! Are you enjoying life? It’s rarely the big things that give purpose, fulfillment and meaning. It’s learning to enjoy the seemingly small blessings. 

Plan out a micro-adventure. 

You don’t need to travel far to experience the thrill of the outdoors. Simple changes to your daily rhythm can make ordinary days feel like expeditions. For example, I love to go to the Case-Eagle Park just up the road from us. The river is so beautiful. I’ll sit on a bench and watch the wildlife or people fishing. I’m always curious if they’ve caught anything…and it’s a free adventure! Periodically, Jane and I go over to Lake Michigan. We may grab lunch and we’ll just sit and enjoy the breaking waves of God’s glorious creation.

It’s hard to believe that I’ve lived here for decades but in the last two years Jane and I have been to Ribfest in Elkhorn and Taco Fest in Kenosha. They both had great food and were lots of fun. It helps too when you go with other friends. They were so good that we’ve been recommending them to others. 

One summer our family decided to find out who had the best local ice cream. We drove a radius of about 30 miles, trying out different ice cream shops. By the fifth one, we were “ice-creamed” out, yet it was an unforgettable adventure. 

Because Christmas is busy for pastors and their families, when our children were young, we’d go to a hotel within about a three-hour drive. One year we bought Nerf guns for everyone and had battles in the room. Another time we played laser tag down the hotel hallways. And there’s nothing more fun on a hot summer day than a good water fight, especially if Dad wins.

Vacation adventures. 

When I was a child, my family stayed at the same motels and went to the same restaurants every single vacation. There’s a word for that – b-o-r-i-n-g. 

Instead look for unique. It’s one reason, that if I can, I drive instead of flying. You never know what you’ll find when you turn off at an unplanned exit. 

For example, one year when we were driving home from Tennessee, we went by Metropolis, IL. Metropolis wasn’t in our plans but by stopping we learned that there was a “Superman Museum.” We took pictures with Superman and Supergirl cutouts (I look good with rippling muscles). We’d never have found it if we hadn’t taken an hour and stopped. You’re on vacation…what’s your hurry.  

The vacation isn’t just your destination, make a fun part of the vacation the route to your destination. Periodically, stop at a historical marker, or a scenic overlook. Instead of eating at some fast-food joint, get it to go and check out a local park. We’ve found some beautiful ones. Pack a picnic lunch and then find a nice one.

And please use those long trips on the road for deeper conversations. A memory killer of today are ubiquitous screens. Playing the “alphabet game” with various road signs or the “license plate” game is much more fulfilling than some cartoon or game on a phone. There are many old camp and folk songs that are fun to sing together as a family. They may roll their eyes, but they’ll never forget the memories. Mine are still recovering from countless verses of “Pine Trees.” 

Periodically, Jane and I will do a “stay-cation.” Even then, we add some zest. We plan out seeing a place we’ve never been to or trying out a new restaurant or festival. We learn a lot from asking servers at restaurants about unusual local places. We’re continually amazed at the wonderful places within an hour’s drive. With the Internet, finding those places is easier than it was in the past, but I still page through tour guidebooks, looking for spots I was unaware of. You can find those guidebooks in your local library. 

There are only a few more warm weeks, followed by the beauty of fall. If you don’t plan it and set a date, it probably won’t happen. Every trip doesn’t need to be to see family, even the grandkids. Empty nesters need together time alone to keep the embers of their marriage stirred. Work and projects will always be there. God designed us to be human beings, not human doings.

So, take a risk. Do something different. Even if it’s making an exotic meal that you’ve never made before from a place you’ve always wanted to go. Do it together. Do it as a family. Make the shopping trip to buy ingredients an adventure by going to a store in Milwaukee or Kenosha you’ve never been to.

Choose to enjoy it! It’s all God’s world and His creation and His gift to us! Even vanilla ice cream is better with chocolate syrup and sprinkles!