Scripture: 2 Samuel 3:1-39
Series: 2 Samuel: When God is Your King! – Sermon 03
Remember the TV show, Let’s Make a Deal (pictures)? It’s still on CBS. Maybe you remember the version with Monty Hall.
2 Samuel 3 plays out like an ongoing version of Let’s make a deal. It has episode after episode of dealmaking, most of them shady, backroom deals. It’s a story of ambition, sex, power, and politics.
So, what do you think of when you hear the term “dealmaker”? Is it positive or negative? Someone ethical or one who cuts corners? The dealmakers in 2 Samuel 3 are not portrayed in a good light.
In one a survey Americans ranked what they consider the most dishonest professions. While nurses are considered the most ethical, car salespeople (picture) were considered the least honest with an ethics rating of only 9%.
2 Samuel 3 reminds us that even when a shady dealmaker is making a deal, God is still working. His plans are not thwarted by someone underhanded. God can work through opportunists, sleazy salespeople, and dishonest politicians. God is working even when it doesn’t seem like He is. It’s why we must trust Him. As Philip Yancey (picture) writes: “Faith is believing in advance what will only make sense in reverse.”
While there’s nothing wrong with being a shrewd businessperson, as Christ-followers we’re to live and conduct our business honestly and ethically in a way that pleases our true king, King Jesus. But these dealmakers failed at that and they’re a warning to us. If you’re taking notes…
1.Dealmakers attempt to extend their power base with alliances vss. 1-5. For seven years, “There was a long war between the house of Saul and the house of David. And David grew stronger and stronger, while the house of Saul became weaker and weaker” (2 Samuel 3:1). Seven years is a long time. This week I spoke with a young adult who’s considering going back to school. She’s in her early thirties but feels like she’s wasted so much time and now “she’s so old.” During periods of waiting, like he was for David, God is forming character and faith. God is working even as we’re waiting.
David commits himself to fostering unity and peace for God’s covenant people during this time of waiting. It’s a practice we need in the church today. We want God’s peace and unity. At Grace we’re in a “waiting” period for our children’s addition, but God is still working while we’re waiting.
In these events leading up to David being made king over all of Israel, we can’t help but notice the oscillating emphasis between strength and weakness. David’s position grows stronger while the house of Saul grows weaker. God had promised to make David the king and God always keeps His promises. But there’s a problem – David tried to help God out with his marital/political alliances. Last time we talked about David and polygamy. David has a sex and women problem that will eventually reap a terrible harvest for him. But that’s not why he marries these women.
“And sons were born to David at Hebron: his firstborn was Amnon, of Ahinoam of Jezreel; and his second, Chileab, of Abigail the widow of Nabal of Carmel; and the third, Absalom the son of Maacah the daughter of Talmai king of Geshur; and the fourth, Adonijah the son of Haggith; and the fifth, Shephatiah the son of Abital; and the sixth, Ithream, of Eglah, David’s wife. These were born to David in Hebron” (2 Samuel 3:2-5).
Remember the story of Helen of Troy and the infamous Trojan Horse (pictures)? Helen’s marriage to Menelaus, King of Sparta, was to unite their two countries. It was a political marriage. But Helen was in love with Paris of Troy and ran off to Troy with him, so Sparta declared war on Troy.
A political marriage is one between two members of different nation-states to unite them. It’s been a common practice throughout history. Yet, God had commanded His kings to be different from the pagan nations surrounding them. They weren’t to multiply wives or marry for political alliances. God was their protector not their alliances. God didn’t need their help.
But David married for power. For examples, his marriage to Maacah daughter of Tamal king of Geshur gave him an alliance with the king who reigned north of Ish-bosheth’s kingdom, placing Ish-bosheth in a precarious position between Geshur and Judah (map). David sets his family up for a clash over who’d be king after him. It’s estimated that David had 20 sons and 1 daughter, not including the children born to his concubines.
Three of his sons the A-Team – Ammon, Absalom and Adonijah will break his heart and wreak havoc on his kingdom. What seemed like a great plan for David the Dealmaker wasn’t according to God’s plan and results in disaster.
Ours is the day of “no fault divorce.” I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve heard a divorcing spouse say, “The divorce won’t hurt the kids. Kids are resilient.” Most people who divorce won’t stay single.
There’s a great ministry for divorcees that we’ve had in the past and would love to start again, Divorce Care. It’s a Bible-based support group ministry that guides folk on the path of recovery after separation or divorce.
Let me segue from the trainwreck of David’s blended family to caution you that if you’re divorced and remarry with underage children, invest the time working through the issues of a blended family like co-parenting, custody issues, favoritism, sexual attraction between adolescents from different families, the holidays, to name a few. Be wise!
The principles here apply to business partnerships, too. Scripture cautions us about business partnerships with unbelievers. In 2 Corinthians 6:14-18, Paul takes up the question of being mismatched (literally “unequally yoked”) with non-Christians. “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?” (2 Corinthians 6:14).
David’s foolish dealmaking has implications for both marriage and work. We’re cautioned about partnerships with non-believers. In 2 Corinthians Paul alludes to Deuteronomy 22:10, which warns against plowing with an ox and a donkey yoked together. A donkey will struggle to pull the ox’s load and the ox can’t go at the faster donkey’s pace. Paul is talking about a deeper spiritual reality, advising God’s people to be wary of partnering with unbelievers. They have a different worldview, purpose, and ethic. To be business partners with unbelievers binds you to the decisions and actions of people with values incompatible with Jesus’ values. We must seek to avoid working with those who will pressure us to act against biblical values.
Dealmakers often attempt to extend their power base with alliances but don’t see the high cost.
2. Dealmakers use anger and being offended as a cover for evil, vss. 6-11. God didn’t design us to handle guilt. It’s not part of our original design. Guilt will drive you crazy. You have to do something with guilt.
Our first parents, Adam and Eve, had no guilt. Once they disobeyed God by sinning in Genesis 3, they try to get rid of the guilt and do a cover-up. It’s not a good plan and doesn’t work. God’s forgiveness is the only cure for guilt.
Abner has his hand caught in the cookie jar or bed of Saul’s concubine, Rizpah. He reacts like guilty people often do. He gets angry. His rage got Ishbosheth to back off. It’s the same ploy guilty individuals often pull. Get angry when you’re guilty and people will back off.
What’s going on? I think Abner is hedging his bets. He no doubt had a wife, maybe a concubine. He’s second in command with Ish-bosheth little more than a puppet king. Why Rizpah? Why Saul’s concubine?
It’s a power play. By sleeping with Saul’s concubine, Abner is putting himself in the place of a king with the people. The kingmaker sets himself up to be king, at least Ish-bosheth thinks so. He may be a weakling but he’s not stupid. Abner the dealmaker is a man who makes things happen.
Abner sees David’s increase in power and is questioning whether he’s made the right move in putting Ishbosheth on the throne. If David takes the throne of the nation, Abner may find himself on the outside or worse. No one kept retired generals from the opposition’s side around.
Abner is not only guilty, but he’s also enraged that this royal wimp with a crown dares to question him. He uses one of the big insults of that day, “Am I a dog’s head of Judah?” Dogs in antiquity were scavengers, much like coyotes. And it’s a dog from Judah, their enemy.
In a fit, he admits what he’d been considering for a while. He’s switching teams. Abner is a man who makes things happen. In his anger, he confesses he’d rebelled against God’s will. “God do so to Abner and more also, if I do not accomplish for David what the Lord has sworn to him, to transfer the kingdom from the house of Saul and set up the throne of David over Israel and over Judah, from Dan to Beersheba” (2 Samuel 3:9-10).
Abner knew from day one that God’s plan was for David to have the throne, but he’d resisted it. Why? Abner would lose his place of power. Then, David had called him out for failing to protect Saul. Remember when David went into Saul’s camp in the middle of the night? David embarrassed this proud man in front of Saul and his army. David wasn’t Abner’s favorite person. Yet, Abner is a pragmatist and a dealmaker. When the final buzzer goes off, he’s going to make sure he’s on the winning team. His loyalty is to himself.
Abner’s anger is a cover for his guilt. Please don’t be fooled by someone’s anger. If you don’t deal with guilt, you’ll often project anger to keep from having to look at the guilt in your own heart. It also turns the focus away from you and keeps other from questioning you.
Ours is an angry world. It’s also a very guilty world. The anger keeps our world from having to face their own sinful guilt before a holy God.
Abner reminds us of how difficult it is for a proud person to receive a justified rebuke. How do you respond to criticism? How do you respond when someone points out sin in your life? Abner’s erratic behavior warns us to be open to honest criticism. “Faithful are the wounds of a friend” (Proverbs 27:6).
What’s amazing is that Abner with his huge ego thought that he was in control of the future. Abner wasn’t in charge. God was in charge and uses Abner’s pride to be the means of uniting the kingdom under David. But Abner doesn’t have a clue. Proverbs 21:1 says, “The king’s heart is a stream of water in the hand of the Lord; He turns it wherever He will.” Abner thought he was a kingmaker, but God was turning Abner’s heart to make him do exactly what God wanted. Abner is a pawn in God’s hand on the chessboard of life.
Poor Rizpah. In ancient times a concubine was little more than a sex slave, legal chattel in the hands of powerful men. Often used as a baby factory to provide an heir. We’ll meet her again. Her sad story doesn’t end here.
3. Dealmakers have a high view of themselves, vss. 12-16. “And Abner sent messengers to David on his behalf, saying, ‘To whom does the land belong?’” (2 Samuel 3:12). Was Abner listening to Woody Guthrie (picture)? “This land is your land and this land is my land.” Apparently, Abner thought the land was his. Now he’s going to give it to David out the goodness of his heart. What arrogance! It’s God’s land and in spite of the Hamas-Israeli war, it’s still God’s land.
Abner has a deal for David. Make a covenant with me and I’ll give you the other tribes. Abner the dealmaker thinks he’s the one who makes things happen. Apparently, he thinks that David should leap at his offer, quickly forgetting all the evil he’d done to David. David is no fool. Like any skilled negotiator, he counteroffers. “And [David] said, ‘Good; I will make a covenant with you. But one thing I require of you; that is, you shall not see my face unless you first bring Michal, Saul’s daughter, when you come to see my face’.” (2 Samuel 3:13). Then David cuts out Abner the middleman, putting him in his place, as he appeals directly to Ish-bosheth, “Then David sent messengers to Ish-bosheth, Saul’s son, saying, ‘Give me my wife Michal, for whom I paid the bridal price” (2 Samuel 3:14).
Abner needs a slice of humble pie. “Humble pie’ is an interesting term. In medieval England, the nobility ate the good cuts of meat, but the poor had to eat a meat pie filled with the less desirable cuts: the heart, liver and intestines. Those parts were called “umbles.” Nobles never ate umble pie. If he was served umble pie, it was humiliating. To eat “umble pie” became synonymous with being humiliated. It’s why some people in England still pronounce humble as “umble.” It’s like our phrase “to eat crow.”
What’s the cause of the Ukraine War? Putin’s (picture) ego. He needs some umble pie. What caused your last fight with your spouse? What’s behind most disagreements at church? Pride. We forget, apart from God, we’re nothing. Umble pie ought to be a regular part of our menu. Too often we think too highly of ourselves. Pride is a sin and always causes problems.
What do we do with Michal? One of the Hollywood’s most famous power couples were Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton (picture). They made 11 movies together and created a sensation everywhere they went. They had an on again and off again relationship for over a decade. Married in 1964, ten years later, they divorced. In 1975, they married again…briefly. For over a decade, they were the world’s most well-known and talked-about couple.
They remind us of David and Michal. Michal was Saul’s daughter. Saul used her to try to kill David by getting David to risk his life paying a dowry of 100 Philistines’ deaths. She’s David’s first love. In fact, her love for David is the only time in the Old Testament where we’re told explicitly of a woman’s love for a man. She protects David from her father, but after Saul runs David out of town, probably to hurt David, he gives Michal to another man, Paltiel. So why does David want her back?
First, she’s his wife. David had never legally divorced her. Saul just gave her to another man. Not only that, but he’d risked his own life and paid a huge dowry for her. Then it strengthened David’s claim to Saul’s throne and a male offspring from their union would further cement David’s claim to be king. It seems David’s request was as political as it was romantic.
The scene reeks of sadness as Michal are dragged out of Paltiel’s home. He follows her weeping until Abner sends him home. We have to wonder how Michal felt about all of this. She’s a pawn in the hands of powerful men.
Tragically, that’s the case for women throughout much of history. It was Christianity that first elevated the role of women. Women were part of Jesus’ disciples and His inner circle. It was women who were the last of His disciples at His cross and the first ones at His tomb on Easter morning.
While all of this was culturally acceptable, it doesn’t mean that it’s right. No one is to be a pawn to be used by those more powerful. Yet, how often do we compromise God’s ways today? It may be acceptable to hit the bar after a stressful day but what are we saying to a lost world about the sufficiency of Christ to give us inner peace? It might be acceptable with your buddies to watch sports all day, but what about our responsibility from God to care for our spouse and children? It might be acceptable to complain about how raising kids is such a hassle, but doesn’t the Bible say that complaining is a sin? And isn’t God the one who gave us and entrusted us with our children? Should we really complain about the gift He’s given us?
4. Dealmakers will use spirituality to forward their agenda, vss. 17-21. Two boys were playing on the ice. One fell in. Little Billy risked his life and rescued his friend. Those standing nearby applauded him, heaping praise and admiration on him. One lady asked the shivering Billy how he’d been so brave to save his friend’s life. Billy said, “I had to. He has my skates on.”
How often are we like Billy or Abner? We do what’s right not because we love God, but it benefits us. We’re more like Abner than we care to admit.
It probably took Abner months to meet with the elders of the different tribes and broker this deal. Imagine trying to put this together without cell phones and Zoom meetings. It was a logistical nightmare. Abner said to the elders that for some time past, they’d been seeking David as king over them. That’s revealing. Apparently, the other tribes had wanted David to be king for a long time. The only reason it hadn’t taken place was that Abner put a stop to it and launched a pointless civil war!
Notice that the dealmaker never admits he was wrong, nor does he take any responsibility for singlehandedly splitting a nation and starting a war. We don’t see Abner confessing anything he’s done as a sin. Abner’s switching of sides was all about Abner wanting to be on the winning team. There’s never a hint from his lips that he acknowledges his equivocation. He’s the kind of person who can bluster his way through things without ever taking personal responsibility for his own mess.
Don’t miss this. Now when it benefits him, he goes spiritual. Verse 18. “Now then bring it about, for the Lord has promised David, saying, ‘By the hand of my servant David I will save my people Israel from the hand of the Philistines, and from the hand of all their enemies.’” Abner invokes the name and will of God as it suits him. Dale Ralph Davis (picture) says, “Abner only quotes Scripture when it supports a pro-Abner move.”
It happens every election cycle. Suddenly those vying for political office are very religious. It’s all about “God bless America.” Yet if your life doesn’t line up with the Bible, can you truly say you’re a Christian? It’s not true Christianity; it’s cultural Christianity. Abner goes all spiritual and uses God when it benefits him. Too many who profess to be Christians do the same. Jesus Christ is like holy water to their agendas that they sprinkle as needed.
5. Dealmakers often lose the deal in the end, vss. 22-39. Three times we’re told that David dismissed Abner “in peace.” He and his 20 men were granted safe passage. All of which explains why Abner returned so unsuspectingly to Hebron to meet Joab. He’d been promised immunity.
David points us to Jesus. Prior to our conversion, each of us was in conflict with Jesus. We were on opposite sides as we were in the kingdom of Satan and Jesus was of course in the kingdom of God. But then Jesus reconciled us to Himself and to God. He extended His peace to us. Now we live in peace with Christ, our king. So, are you “in peace” with Christ? Have you transferred your allegiance from the kingdom of Satan to His kingdom?
Joab, like Abner, was a man of action. He takes matters into his own hands. I wonder if David sent Joab out of town while Abner was in Hebron so he could broker a peace deal in peace.
Remember what happened when Joab met Abner last time? In the initial battle between the two kingdoms, Abner kills Asahel, Joab’s little brother. Abner didn’t want to kill him, but it was war. Abner just defends himself. Joab and his brother, Abishai, want revenge for Abner killing their brother.
When Joab heard Abner had been in Hebron, had a meal with David, made an agreement with David to bring all Israel under David’s reign, and had just left, he went to David and angrily and accusingly, “What have you done?”
Though Joab was David’s nephew and his general, his words to the King were totally inappropriate. As one commentator noted, “These are the words of an accuser to an accused.” Joab is totally disrespectful to his sovereign. We don’t know what David’s response was to Joab.
Nevertheless, Joab, unknown to David, sent messengers after Abner, summoning him back to Hebron. Abner returned, thinking he had sanctuary. Then, Joab takes him aside and stabs him in the stomach and Abner dies. The text says, he did so “for the blood of Asahel his brother” (2 Samuel 3:27b).
Remember Asahel was killed on the battlefield, but Joab murders Abner. Hebron was also a City of Refuge. A City of Refuge was a place designated by God to be a safe place for someone accused of killing someone accidentally, as in manslaughter.
Joab accused David of being deceived by Abner, but Joab deceived Abner into returning to Hebron and murdering him. There’s a lesson for all of us in this. If we don’t forgive, if we don’t choose to work for peace in broken relationships, if we let ourselves constantly think about hatred and revenge, we’ll become bitter and consumed by it, just like Joab.
Joab didn’t care about the peace in his country. He almost destroyed it. He’d never allow Abner to repent or give him a second chance. Joab only cared about revenge. His bitterness ate him alive. Because of that, he became a dark, angry person. And he’s a warning to us.
Revenge seems so sweet, but it cost us the most in the end. All of us have those who’ve done hurtful things to us. I’m not saying the pain doesn’t matter or that the wound wasn’t real. We must be careful not to let that wound define and control us. When we let that happen, that pain and bitterness will destroy us, just as it did Joab.
When David heard what Joab did, he immediately wanted to make it clear to everyone that he was innocent. He had nothing to do with Abner’s death. David even commands Joab to join him in mourning publicly for Abner. The passage tells us that the people saw David’s reaction, “So all the people and all Israel understood that day that it had not been the king’s will to put to death Abner the son of Ner” (2 Samuel 3:37). David was innocent of all wrongdoing, and everyone knew it.
“Then David said to Joab and to all the people who were with him, ‘Tear your clothes and put on sackcloth and mourn before Abner.’ And King David followed the bier. They buried Abner at Hebron. And the king lifted up his voice and wept at the grave of Abner, and all the people wept” (2 Samuel 3:31-32). Interestingly, this is the first time in Scripture that David is referred to as “King David.” David leads the mourners in his official capacity as king.
Abner was buried at Hebron. He’s not taken back home, which would have been in the territory of Benjamin. Abner had changed allegiance. Burial at Hebron signified his new, albeit short, relationship to his new king.
David made sure Joab joined the public in mourning for Abner. And David himself led the way in mourning for one to whom he’d extended his peace. In addition, David lamented and fasted for Abner. It’s clear that these tears were not for public show but were tears of genuine sorrow.
“And all the people took notice of it, and it pleased them, as everything that the king did pleased all the people.” The Hebrew word for “pleased” can also be translated as “good.” The Lexham English Bible translates verse 36 as, “All the people noticed, and it was good in their eyes, as everything that the king did was good in the eyes of all the people.” The people saw that their king, David, was good. As they saw how he led them in mourning over the loss of one that David had shown steadfast love, kindness and faithfulness, they were pleased.
We’re not shocked that Abner the dealmaker loses in the end. Galatians 6:7 has a powerful warning, “Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap.” Abner had brought pain and destruction. In the end he received it back, even though he was unjustly murdered. Joab and Abner are cut from the same cloth. Sadly, Joab will end the same way. God will hold us accountable for our sinful actions unless we repent and turn to Christ.
David is a wonderful example to us of how to turn enemies into friends. The closest we’ve come to it in terms of political leadership in our country is probably the ability of Ronald Reagan and Tip O’Neill (picture) to be friends with each other despite the fact that they were on totally different ends of the political spectrum. Someone wrote, “The power of David’s speech…is characteristic of a great political or military leader who is able to transcend competition or resistance and to acknowledge greatness, even if it happens not to be part of his own party.”
Though Abner had been a terrible enemy, David grieves his death. Every death is a loss. We must never take death lightly, even that of our worst enemy. In Ezekiel 33:11, God says, “As I live, declares the Lord God, I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but that the wicked turn from his way and live; turn back, turn back from your evil ways…” (Ezekiel 33:11). Our God is a God of grace. He longs to forgive! That’s why He sacrificed His Son Jesus for His enemies…for us!
Conclusion
So, what can we learn? What are the take home truths? We humans tend to be dealmakers when God instead wants us to trust Him. Someone wisely said, “Living by faith is living without scheming.” In spite of all of the plotting and manipulating of David with his marital alliances, Abner and Joab as dealmakers, God was working. I can’t help but think that God used Joab, even though it was done in evil, to take Abner out. Abner had already plotted against one king. What would prevent the kingmaker from plotting against David down the road?
God was working. He’s always working though most of the time we don’t know it. Let me suggest that God is working in three ways this morning.
God is working to bring you to salvation. If you don’t know Christ as your Savior, I don’t believe it’s an accident that you’re here today. 2 Peter 3:9 tells us that God doesn’t want anyone to perish. God loves you. He gave His Son as the payment for your sin. But you must personally accept His free gift of salvation. You must personally accept God’s cure for your sins.
God is working in your life to direct your path. As God let David go through terrible times, though He had David wait seven years to take the throne, He was working. He’s working and directing in your life. He knows what’s going on. As He did for David, He has a plan for your life.
God is working to bring in His Kingdom. There is no corner of the earth that’s not under God’s sovereign control. Jesus said God’s kingdom is like a living seed. God’s kingdom has a small beginning in our hearts, but it will grow. What God is doing in you will spread through you into the lives of others. Only God can make things grow. It’s why we need to pray “Your kingdom come.” It’s how we’re to pray for loved ones who do not yet know Jesus and for the advance of the gospel in our world.
Clearly the coming of the kingdom requires the coming of the King. As David finally came to the throne that He’d been promised, so it was promised that Jesus would come the first time, and He did. And my friend, Jesus is coming back. God is working, even when it doesn’t seem like it. He’s working in your life. Is He your King? Are you ready for the King’s return?