Scripture: Psalm 103:8-13
Father’s Day – June 16, 2024
Erma Bombeck (picture) wrote this about her dad: “My Daddy just didn’t know how to show love. It was Mom who held the family together. He just went to work every day and when he came home, she had a list of sins we’d committed, and he would give us what-for about them.
I broke my leg once on a swing set. It was Mom who held me in her arms all the way to the hospital. Dad pulled the car right up to the emergency door and when they asked him to move it because the space was reserved for emergency vehicles, he shouted, “What do you think this is, a tour bus?”
Mom carried me in while Dad parked the car. It seems all my life Dad was parking the car someplace, coming in wet and half-frozen.
Dad was always sort of out of place. At birthday parties he just busied himself blowing up balloons, setting up tables and running errands. But it was Mom who carried the cake with the candles on it for me to blow out.
I remember when Mom told him to teach me how to ride a bicycle. I told him not to let go, but he said it was time. So, I fell, and Mom ran to pick me up. But he waved her off. I was so mad that I showed him. I got right back on that bike and rode it by myself. He didn’t even feel embarrassed. He just smiled.
When I went off to college he was fiddling with the luggage and the boxes. It was Mom who sat down and said that everything would be all right. She did all the writing. He just sent checks and a little note about how great his lawn looked now that I wasn’t playing football on it…
When I got married it was Mom who got choked up and cried, and Dad just blew his nose loudly and left the room.
All my life he said, “What are you doing? What time are you going to be home? Do you have gas in the car? Who’s going to be there? No, you can’t go.” Not Mom, she just loved me. But Daddy, he didn’t seem to know how to show love – unless…is it possible, that he was showing it all along, and I just didn’t recognize it?”
Today is Father’s Day. In our gender confused world I’m glad that we still have Father’s Day. God has designed us so that our children have needs that can only be met by dads who do the job right. Studies confirm this over and over again. Dr. James L. Schaller (picture) writes, “The absence of a mature father-child connection creates a void in the soul, a residual ‘father hunger.’” Robert Bly (picture) says that due to the absence of many dads, this generation thirsts for what he calls, “father water.” Yet, many men have lessened or even lost their roles as influential fathers, some by their own choice.
Sad statistics that bear this out:
- 25 million children live without their biological fathers.
- In a survey of 1600 adult men, more than 50% said their fathers were emotionally absent while they were growing up. In another only 34% said that they considered their own father to be a role model.
- Fatherless children are more likely to commit crimes and engage in substance abuse.
- Fatherless children score lower on tests and have lower grade point averages.
- Children of father-absent families are five times more likely to be poor and ten times more likely to be extremely poor.
- In a study of 56 school shootings, only 10 of the shooters (18%) were raised in a stable home with both biological parents. 82% grew up in either an unstable family environment or without both biological parents together.
- Adolescents in mother-only families are more likely to be sexually active, and daughters are more likely to become single-parent mothers.
- As many as 75% of teen suicides and 80% of psychiatric admissions come from broken homes—families where the father just didn’t have the guts to do his God-given job.
Yet, in the midst of this bad news there’s some good news. At least in Bible-believing churches, there is a growing awareness of the importance of fathers. More and more men want to be effective fathers. I’m so thankful for commitment of many of our men at Grace and the many that are part of our Men’s Bible study group.
Godly, committed dads love their kids and recognize their influence on their children. A big roadblock in recovering our positive power as dads is that we lack complete and effective models. We don’t have the blueprints to follow. Historically men learned to father by following the example of their own dads. They kept their eyes open and watched daily to see how it was done.
It’s a sad reality that many sons today don’t have a good fatherly model to follow. Since this is true, it’s important for all fathers present, even future fathers and single-parent moms who act as fathers to commit to pattern their fathering after the only perfect model for a father there is: GOD, God the Perfect Father. Not only will this benefit our parenting, but it will also help our kids to know Jesus and grow spiritually. Our children naturally want to be like us. If we can be more like God, their understanding of Him will grow by leaps and bounds. Austin Sorensen (picture), “A child is not likely to find a father in God unless he finds something of God in his father.”
One pastor asked the preschool class in his Sunday school to draw a picture of God. Most of the kids drew rainbows and men with big hands. But one little girl drew a picture of a man with a suit and tie on. She explained, “I don’t know what God looks like, so I just drew my daddy instead.” If you read your Bible, you’ll see that God is repeatedly described as our Father.
In 2 Corinthians 6:18 God says, “I will be a Father to you, and you will be My sons and daughters…” It was in the Lord’s Prayer that Jesus taught us to begin our prayers by saying, “Our Father.” Romans 8:15 it says that as Christians, we’re to call God “Abba” which means “Papa” or “Daddy.”
While there are many facets of God’s parenting that we could study together, this morning, we want to focus on Psalm 103:8-13 (p. 470). We’re breaking from our study of 2 Samuel because the study on chapter 13 is a bit raw. Next Sunday if you’d prefer for your Middle School or younger children to not be in here, they can be in Grace Kids next week.
Here’s Psalms 103: The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. He will not always chide, nor will He keep His anger forever. He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His steadfast love toward those who fear Him; as far as the east is from the west, so far does He remove our transgressions from us. As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear Him.” Let me suggest three principles here every dad should embrace.
1. We must be patient like God
“The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger…” (vs. 8). In other words, God is patient. As our “Abba,” He has a long fuse. He’s not easily angered.
This verse is actually a quotation of something Moses wrote 500 years earlier. It’s recorded in Exodus 34 and comes from the time Moses was up on the top of Mt. Sinai conferring with God. You’ll remember that while this was going on, down below the people were having a party characterized by debauchery. These people God had just delivered from slavery in Egypt were expressing their “gratitude” to their Heavenly Father by worshiping a golden calf idol. When God told Moses what was going on Moses came down from the mountain and angrily shattered the original copy of The Ten Commandments. It’s the only time we know of when all of the Ten Commandments were broken at the same time!
God was angry and wanted to destroy the people but in answer to Moses’ pleading on the people’s behalf, God reconsidered. He promised to give Moses a new copy of the Decalogue and took Moses back to the top of Mount Sinai. Before He began dictating His Top Ten a second time, God passed in front of Moses proclaiming, “The Lord, the compassionate and gracious God, is slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness” (Exodus 34:6-7).
As this text shows, like any parent, God does get angry. But He puts up with a great deal before reaching His boiling point. He’s very patient with us.
Earthly fathers are to follow His example. We get mad at the things our kids do, but we must learn to control our anger and to be patient with our children. We must understand that they’re not finished growing up yet. We must believe in their future potential and patiently help them work toward it. We must see beyond the present and look to the finish line of parenting when our kids will finally be mature and able to face life on their own.
That’s what we’re preparing them for. That’s our job. There are times when we feel like quitting. As dads we can’t do that. No, like our longsuffering Heavenly Father, we must be patient, hanging in there for the long haul.
In 1983, Australia hosted an ultra-marathon. It’s a 573.7-mile foot race from Sydney to Melbourne and obviously takes days to run. Professional runners from all over the world came to participate. Shortly before the race began, a 61-year-old farmer named Cliff Young (picture), wearing overalls and goulashes over his boots, walked up to the registration table and requested a number to enter the race. The people at the registration table thought it was a joke—that somebody was setting them up—so they laughed.
But Cliff Young said, “No, I’d really like to run.” So, they gave him a number and pinned it on his old overalls. Cliff Young walked over to the start of the race. All the other professional runners, who were decked out in all their running regalia, looked at him like he was crazy. The crowd snickered. They laughed even more when the gun went off and the race began, because all those professional runners had sculpted bodies and powerful strides…not Cliff Young. He didn’t run at all like a runner. He ran with an awkward, goofy-looking shuffle. All through the crowd people were laughing. Finally, someone called out, “Get that old fool off the track!”
Five days, 14 hours, and 4 minutes later, at 1:25 in the morning, Cliff Young shuffled across the finish line of the 573.7-mile ultra-marathon. He’d won the race! And he didn’t win by a matter of minutes or even an hour or two. The 2nd place runner was nine hours and 56 minutes behind him. Cliff Young had set a new world record for the ultra-marathon!
The press mobbed him wondering what kind of special running shoes he must have had. They rummaged through his backpack wondering what he’d survived on thinking that might have been his secret. Well, they hit a dead end there because he’d lived primarily on pumpkin seeds and water. But then they discovered the secret to his success: Cliff Young had shuffled his way to victory without ever sleeping. The other runners would run for 18 hours straight and then stop to sleep for 3 or 4 hours. Not Cliff. He endured running five days, 14 hours, and 4 minutes without stopping at the age of 61.
In many ways parenting is like that. It’s a race we run, not for a few days, but more like 20 years. It’s something that starts the day our kids are born, and it doesn’t end until we take our last breath. Over the years there are times when you feel like quitting, but you don’t. There are times when you think you can take a break, but you can’t.
Fatherhood is a non-stop kind of job, a job that requires the patience of a marathoner. You believe in the finished product, so you hang in there no matter what. You just don’t quit…ever.
That’s the way God is with us. He’s patient and longsuffering. We must emulate Him in this if we want to positively impact our sons and daughters. We must be patient with our children, reflecting God’s patience with us.
2. We must be forgiving like God
“He will not always accuse, nor will He harbor His anger forever…as far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us” (Psalm 103:9 & 12).
A man complained to his buddy that whenever he argued with his wife, she got historical. His friend said, “You mean hysterical.” He said, “No, historical. She dredges up the past and reminds me of every time I’ve previously failed.” Too often we do that with our kids. They do something wrong, and we remind them of the previous 10 times they did the same thing.
Thankfully our Heavenly Father isn’t that way. When God forgives, He forgets. God chooses to have a short memory when it comes to our blunders. That’s good because Psalm 130:3 tells us that if God kept a detailed record of our sins, none of us would ever be able to stand before Him. In Isaiah 57:16, God says, “If I kept throwing up in your face your past failures, if I chose to retain an angry disposition toward you because of your sin…your spirit within you would grow faint before Me. You would wither up and die.”
Can you imagine how this might sound? I’d go to God for forgiveness because I’ve done something wrong. I’d say, “I did it again, God. I doubted Your provision and tried to take care of things in my own strength. Oh, please cleanse me from this sin and give me the courage to trust You in the future.” And God would say, “What!?! You did it again? This is the 99th time you’ve done it this week, and I stop forgiving after fifty. Sorry, pal, but your punch card is all punched out.”
Thank goodness God isn’t that kind of Father! Once I’ve sought His forgiveness, He doesn’t keep on accusing. He doesn’t keep harboring His anger toward me. He chooses to have a short memory where previously forgiven sins are concerned.
Scripture says God doesn’t treat us according to what we deserve. He treats us according to what we need. He forgives and forgets our sin. The psalmist tells us that when we ask God to forgive our sins, He removes them as far as the east is from the west and remembers them no more.
Do you know how far that is? Truth is, it can’t be measured. Get a globe and you’ll see that east and west are further apart than north and south.
If we start in North America and go north, eventually we’ll get to the top of the globe at the North Pole. If I continue in the same direction, I start going south. Eventually the north meets the south. But if I start in Wisconsin and keep going east, when will I start going west? Never.
God removes our sin from us, not as far as the north is from the south, but as far as the east is from the west. It’s an infinite distance!
If you ever wondered how serious God is about taking care of your sin, He has lots of metaphors in Scripture like this one to describe what He desires to do with your sin. Micah 7:19, “He will trample it under foot and throw it into the deepest part of the sea.” Isaiah 38:17 says He’ll put it behind His back where He can’t see it. Isaiah 43:25 says He’ll blot them all out. Isaiah 44:22 says He’ll sweep them away like a morning mist is burned off by the sun. Jeremiah 31:34 says God will refuse to remember it. He’ll just block it out of His memory.
Every Dad needs a level of sanctified forgetfulness. We need to follow God the Father’s example in forgiving our children. They need our forgiveness. They need us to give them a clean slate after they mess up. They need us to give them a second chance to start over. Forgiveness is the only thing that will make them believe they can start over and do better the next time.
3. We must love like God
Psalm 103 is full of proclamations of God’s love. Verse 8 says that God is, “abounding in love.” According to verse 17 God’s love for us is, “from everlasting to everlasting…” Verse 11 says, “He does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His love for those who fear Him.”
The Psalmist is saying that God loves us with an unbelievably great love. It proclaims the wonderful truth that God loves us even if we don’t deserve it. His is an unconditional love—a love that’s not based on our actions. It’s a love that we don’t have to earn and never could.
Dads, we need to remember to love our children this same way. They need our love, especially when they don’t deserve it. This caliber of love gives them the anchor they need, an anchor that shows we love them no matter what and believe they can learn from their mistakes and grow into maturity.
Recently, I read about Kim Shin Jo (picture), a gentle pastor from South Korea, who used to be a trained North Korean killer. In January of 1968, Jo and a team of assassins descended from North Korea, slipping through the woods in a daring attempt to kill the president of South Korea. The team of 31 commandos made it to within a few hundred meters of the president’s residence before they were intercepted. A fierce battle ensued, killing 30 South Koreans. All of the North Korean soldiers were killed, except one who escaped – Kim Shin Jo. Finally, he was captured. After months of interrogation, and through a surprising friendship with a South Korean army general, Kim Shin Jo’s hard heart began to soften. Later he would confess, “I tried to kill the president. I was the enemy. But the South Korean people showed me sympathy and forgiveness. I was touched and moved.”
The South Korean government eventually released Kim Shin Jo. Over the next three decades he worked for the military, became a citizen, and then married and raised a family. Finally, he became a pastor.
Today Jo’s life serves as a symbol of redemption. Reflecting on the day of his arrest, Kim Shin Jo commented, “On that day, Kim Shin Jo died. I was reborn. I got my second chance. And I’m thankful for that.” Kim Shin Jo found a new birth and God’s grace through the power of Christ. His encounter with Christ came through the unexpected, surprising love of other people. Despite his betrayals and sins, an army officer accepted him, befriended him, and believed in him. At one time he was the enemy of the South Korean people, but in the spirit of Jesus Christ, they surprised him with the startling gifts of belonging, forgiveness and even citizenship.
In a similar way fathers are called to love their kids no matter what. Only that kind of unconditional “father-love” can empower them to become the kind of people God calls them to be.
I’ve never met a father who said, “I don’t love my children.” Of course, all fathers love their children. But too many of us drop the ball. We don’t express our love. We don’t show it or when we do it’s only at certain times, in reward for certain types of behavior. As a result, our kids get the idea that our love for them is conditional. Dads, we must learn to express a godly, unconditional love to our children…
Conclusion
God is the perfect Father, and this Psalm reminds us of three of the many reasons this is so….
- He is patient with His children
- He forgives His children
- He loves His children unconditionally
Wouldn’t you like to be a parent like that? Or think of it in another way, wouldn’t you like to have a parent like that? If you don’t yet know God personally, can you imagine how wonderful it would be to have a relationship with Him in which you experience His patience, His forgiveness and His unconditional love?
If you’re here this morning and you’re not yet a Christian. Up until now, you’ve never committed your life to Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. Because Jesus isn’t your Savior, God isn’t your Father.
But God wants to be your Father. He loves you as you’ve never been loved. He wants to make you His son or daughter. He wants you to be a member of His Forever Family. He wants to claim you as His own child.
In her story, The Whisper Test, Mary Ann Bird (picture) writes:
I grew up knowing I was different, and I hated it. I was born with a cleft palate, and when I started school, my classmates made it clear to me how I looked to others: a little girl with a misshapen lip, crooked nose, lopsided teeth, and garbled speech.
When schoolmates asked, “What happened to your lip?” I’d tell them I’d fallen and cut it on a piece of glass. Somehow it seemed more acceptable to have suffered an accident than to have been born different. I was convinced that no one outside my family could love me.
There was, however, a teacher in the second grade whom we all adored–Mrs. Leonard by name. She was short, round, happy–a sparkling lady.
Annually we had a hearing test. … Mrs. Leonard gave the test to everyone in the class, and finally it was my turn. I knew from past years that as we stood against the door and covered one ear, the teacher sitting at her desk would whisper something, and we would have to repeat it back–things like “The sky is blue” or “Do you have new shoes?”
I waited there for those words that God must have put into her mouth, those seven words that changed my life. Mrs. Leonard said, in her whisper, “I wish you were my little girl.” (Seven words changed a life).
As an adult, Mary went on to run a large special educational program. When a reporter asked what inspired her to work to help thousands of children, Mary pointed back to Mrs. Leonard and her seven words. She said, “From the day I heard those words, I knew who I was. I was a beloved child, and I wanted every troubled child to know who they are, too.”
My friend, God the Father says to every person wounded and deformed by sin, “I wish you were my son” or “I wish you were my daughter.”
Have you committed your life to Christ? Are you, His son? Are you, His daughter? He wants you to be. You though must come to Him. You have to commit your life to Christ. You must come with your mess of sin and come to the cross where Jesus paid for it all. You must trust the Lord Jesus as your Lord and Savior. Do you want a new father? Please come to Him today.