Parents are the ultimate role models for children. Every word, movement and action has an effect. No other person or outside force has a greater influence on a child than the parent. – Captain Kangaroo/Bob Keeshan

All of us are aware of generational influence. We often refer to them as “dynasties.” There are many great sports dynasties. One that’s familiar in Wisconsin is the Matthews family. Clay Matthews III was a linebacker for Green Bay from 2009 to 2018. Patriarch Clay Sr. played four seasons in the 1950s, while Clay III’s generation includes one brother (Casey Matthews) and three cousins (Kevin Matthews, Mike Matthews, and Troy Niklas) who made NFL rosters. The Matthews footprint in the NFL is staggering. 

Which do you like better? Snickers, M & M’s, Twix, Milky Way or 3 Musketeers? The Mars family is one of the most famous candy manufacturing dynasties in America owning confectioneries, pet care, and food companies. There have been five generations involved in the candy and food business since Frank C. Mars launched the company in 1911. 

You don’t have to be wealthy or famous to have generational gifts. My mother-in-law, Mary Quick, has been visiting with us this past week. It doesn’t take long to learn that the Quick family loves music. At family gatherings they would often gather around the piano and sing together. Then, Jane and Ben are always humming or singing around our home. 

There are many good things we learn from our families of origin, yet we also learn odd or sinful habits we assume were “normal”? My wonderful daughter in law, Jiayu, has the Taiwanese pattern of “hurry.” Jane and I chuckled when we were in an elevator with her and as soon as everyone was on, she punched the button to close the doors, saving a few seconds. 

Marriage usually sheds light on negative family traits we consider normal. Sometimes they’re just a difference of family culture. They become serious when they’re sinful behavior patterns. Yet, because they’re our “normal,” we may not be aware of them and how spiritually deadly they are. Cultural Christianity is a common one. Many families live one form of Christianity at church around other believers but easily slip into family sinful habits when they walk out the church doors. 

Most of us know addictions are habits passed down generationally, yet there are many other sinful ones that are much more subtle. That means we must compare family habits against the standard of God’s Word, which is the only accurate measuring line. 

There are times when physical, emotional, or spiritual challenges that a family experiences in the present are connected to sinful habits of past ancestors. It’s a generational curse. While we’re not responsible for the sins of the previous generations, we must recognize we can be influenced by their sins or inherit a propensity to certain sinful habits. 

Let me encourage you to take some time and examine your family of origin and back across the generations to search for patterns. What do you see? Addiction, trauma, exploitation, passive aggression, domination, envy, scandal, arrogance, victimization, despair, pessimism, isolation, manipulation, perfectionism, rage, negativity, bitterness, etc.? 

Whatever issues we discover will affect us unless we confess and work towards our own repentance and ask for God’s gracious healing. As we become aware of sinful behavior patterns, we can learn, by God’s grace, to have spiritual transformation. Then, we can teach our own children to respond thoughtfully from a place of godliness. Often the sinful patterns we see in our children were first modeled after us. Anxiety and anger are two that are obvious. I remember the pain in my heart as I saw these patterns in my own life. I’m from a line of rage-aholics. I remember a load of guilt landing on me when I observed some of that in my own children.

One of our biblical heroes, Abraham, had the habit of lying. He lied out of fear (claiming his wife was his sister) created a generational cycle of deceit passed down through his descendants. He lied to Pharaoh out of fear that the Egyptians would kill him to take his beautiful wife, Sarah, calling her his sister instead. Wonderfully, God protected them. But years later, Abraham repeated the exact same half-truth about Sarah with King Abimelech of Gerar. Both instances stemmed from a lack of trust in God’s protection, and a desire to control the outcome through deception. 

With Isaac, his son, we find the same generational sin of lying. Isaac modeled Abraham’s sin by lying to Abimelech (the king of Gerar at that time) about his wife, Rebekah, claiming she was his sister because he feared being killed for her beauty. That pattern of deception escalated further down the lineage, with Jacob deceiving his father, Isaac, about the birthright, and later Jacob’s sons using violent deception, telling their father that his younger son, Joseph, must be dead. They wouldn’t come clean with their coldhearted deception even when Jacob was inconsolable. 

Wonderfully, the opposite can be true! Generational godliness can mean passing on our faith, character, and spiritual obedience from parents and elders to children, grandchildren, and future descendants. The Bible describes God as a generational deity whose covenant of love and faithfulness extends across thousands of generations. 

Raising a godly lineage requires deliberate, daily discipleship rather than passive hope. Passages like Deuteronomy 6:7-9 command believers to diligently teach God’s truth to our children, modeling it in our daily life. Parents and older men and women model faith for younger believers, teaching coming generations about the Lord. Those choices ripple forward. Believers can break evil family chains of ungodliness and establish a spiritual inheritance impacting descendants for eternity. 

Some years ago, PBS did a series of family histories of famous Americans. They wanted to include a pastor, so they asked Pastor Rick Warren to participate. They used his DNA to trace his family tree. One of the things they discovered was the number of godly ancestors he had. He reaped the benefits from grandparents, great-grandparents and others who prayed for future generations, making disciples in his family.  

Maybe you’re thinking, I didn’t have a family like that, but I’d like to have a legacy like that. So, start it, start that kind of legacy that has eternal effects generationally. Determine that as much as possible future generations will be blessed because you sowed seeds of godliness. You can invest in changing the course for your family by living out a godly legacy, sowing seeds of faith, prayer, love, and generosity.