Be curious, not judgmental. – Walt Whitman

Hopefully, you didn’t grow up like me. I think it had a lot to do with the fact that my dad grew up so poor. On top of that, his father was an alcoholic and ended up arrested and on the chain gang. There’s little doubt in my mind with what I know of my grandfather, though I met him later in life and loved him dearly, he was abusive when my dad was growing up. 

My dad was determined he was never going to be poor, and no one was going to ever ridicule him again for being poor. Ultimately, he was an American success story, a thriving real estate investor. He made local newspapers as one of the “Who’s Who” and was on the board of one of the Atlanta’s most prestigious college prep schools. 

I think because he’d been so ridiculed and judged during his formative years, he became an arrogant and judgmental person. Hardly anyone escaped his judgmentalism. The only ones he was impressed with were “the wealthy, attractive or very smart.” All others were fodder for his verbal censure. 

One of the greatest tragedies of that was ME. Dorothy Law Nolte’s famous quote is true…at least it was for me: Children learn what they live. Though I’ve never been “wealthy, attractive or very smart,” I did learn to be “arrogant, critical and judgmental,” that is until I got a new Father and He began to transform my heart. I’ve still got a long way to go and am a work in progress. The Bible calls it “sanctification.” 

And I’m so thankful my Heavenly Father is so patient with me! Eternity is not long enough to begin to comprehend that Jesus loves me, died for me and rescued me from ME. I don’t know about you, but I’m a hot mess!

The one verse in the Bible that everyone knows, (even atheists,) is Judge not that you be not judged (Matthew 7:1). It’s talking about salvation and who will ultimately be in heaven. None of us can judge that, only God. I think all of us are going to be surprised when we arrive in heaven on who is there and some we thought for sure would be but aren’t. Though they had a veneer of Christianity, they never committed their lives to Christ. 

One wonderful trait we find repeatedly in the life of Jesus as He walked this earth was His lack of judgmentalism of others. The bottom line is: Who are we to judge Let me be clear, being loving and accepting are not the same as condoning and agreeing. Every Christ-follower is to be loving and accepting, just like Jesus. Yet too often we are like a pagan world that’s arrogant, judgmental and often mean. As Christ-followers, we’re to be transformed (Romans 12:2) by the Spirit. That begins with our thinking and travels down to our tongues. Too many of us who should know and act better have “The Lucy Syndrome.”   

Judgmentalism could be dubbed “The Lucy Syndrome.” In one of Charles Schulz’s comics he drew one with Lucy and Linus. Linus is reading in a chair. Lucy is standing next to him, thinking.

Picture 1: Lucy, It’s very strange. 

Picture 2: Lucy again, It happens just by looking at you.

Picture 3: Linus innocently asks, What happens? Picture 4: Lucy answers, I can feel a criticism coming on.

The root cause of our judgmental culture is pride. It’s one of the most enticing sins. But what about us? Too often, we’re just as arrogant. We’re judgmental over what are just subjective choices and minute issues.

We judge over appearances. 

How dare we judge how someone looks? Who made them or designed them? God did! (Psalm 139:13-16). God is the Designer of everyone that we meet…And God don’t make no junk! 

Today we judge others for their hair, tattoos or piercings, yet hairstyles, tattoos or piercings do not change someone’s value. 

We judge on clothing. 

The clothes you buy at Walmart may not have the price or fine design of say, Gucci, but they still do the job. Does it matter how someone dresses? Our clothes do not determine our value. 

We judge on communication skills. 

The Apostle Paul was educated and articulate. The Apostle Peter a simple fisherman. Both had hearts that were huge and on fire in their love for Jesus. Education has its place and knowing how to communicate, but if you want to see someone smile, let them see a giggling baby who only makes sounds and can’t read or write. 

We judge on behavior. 

What’s “normal” for us may not be normal for someone else. It’s a well-known fact that we learn what we live. 

For example, if you grew up in an addict’s home, you’re risk of being one is eight times higher. That doesn’t give someone a pass for their choices, yet I believe it should change our attitude toward them, making us more merciful as Jesus is with us.  

Over the years I’ve seen many struggle with addictions and my heart goes out to them. The ones who I’ve watched have victory most often find it through the transformation of salvation and new life in Christ. You’d be shocked at how many people are closet, yet functioning addicts. You’d also be shocked to discover how many former addicts are sitting beside you in a worship service and are there by God’s wonderful grace!

At their root, sexual choices are a cry for intimacy: Can anyone love me? Am I lovable? God designed us with a longing to be loved. Yet, that need for love is only satisfied at Christ’s Cross. Jesus though was consistently loving with those who made sexual choices that violated God’s standards. He’s our example and we must be loving with them too. We can believe that their behavior is wrong and violates God’s standards, yet without our condemnation. We’re not the judge, God is.

We judge on political choices. 

Tony Evan’s pointed out that God doesn’t ride the backs of donkeys or elephants. Jesus and His kingdom aren’t aligned with or restricted by partisanship. Yet, surveys show that most Americans, even Christians, vote what benefits them financially, not in line with a biblical worldview. 

It’s amazing that among Jesus’ disciples, Matthew was a Rome supporter and Simon the Zealot was a revolutionary who wanted to overthrow the Roman government. In the midst of a radically politically divided culture, Jesus didn’t judge anyone for their political choices, and neither must we. 

We would be wise to re-read the gospels and learn how to treat others as Jesus did. The ones He showed the most compassion to were often considered scum in His day. They came to a loving Savior because of His lack of judgmentalism. 

The bottom line is that God is the judge, not us. Everyone we meet could have written on their forehead, For whom Christ died. Let’s talk about them like Jesus talks about us. Let’s treat them as Jesus treats us!