Scripture: Proverbs 31:10-31
Sermon: Mother’s Day

During the Senate Confirmation hearings Supreme Court Justice, Ketanji Brown Jackson, was asked to define the term “woman.” Her answer reflected the confusion in our culture about gender. Hopefully, no one here questions what a woman is. What we don’t talk about enough in the Church is: What’s a GODLY woman?

I know it’s Mother’s Day, which is a wonderful holiday, yet it’s an American not a biblical one. Over 52% of American women are single, unmarried, or separated, equating to millions of women. Something more vital than being a mom is being a godly woman. So, we want to use today to unpack What’s a GODLY woman? If you’re taking notes…

1. A godly woman does not have to be married. 

Yes, God’s will is usually marriage but it’s not God’s will for every woman. Too often in the Church we’ve acted like marriage is the ultimate fulfillment. It’s not what the Bible teaches.

I love what one single woman did. At weddings her senior citizen aunts would poke her and say, “You’re next.” So, she started doing the same to them at funerals, “You’re next.”

Paul who was also single wrote, But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am (1 Corinthians 7:7-8).

God’s Word teaches that singleness is a divine gift, offering a season for deep spiritual growth, undistracted devotion, and purposeful service. Singleness is not a “waiting room” for life to start. It’s a valid, fruitful and complete season to be used for God’s kingdom. And every woman, single or married, is encouraged to see God as their primary provider, protector, and filler of needs, allowing them to feel secure with or without a husband.

A woman’s value is found in Christ rather than in her relationship status. She’s complete in being single. She’s not some “half” waiting for her other half for fulfillment. Single women are encouraged to embrace their calling, leveraging their independence for ministry. 

God has consistently used single Christian women to advance His Kingdom: Holocaust survivor, Corrie ten Boom, Missionary Lottie Moon, hymn writers, Frances Ridley Havergal and Fanny Crosby and abolitionist, Sojourner Truth.

Sometimes we’ve unfortunately misunderstood Scriptural references that refer to women. It would help if we clarified what a woman is not.

A woman is not made to be a wife or a baby factory. The original command to be fruitful and multiply was given to a woman and a man. The purpose of multiplying was to fill the earth with worshipers. Children are important.

Too often a pagan world diminishes the critical job of parenting. The danger is that not only will we devalue mothering and the home, but there’s also a danger that we’ll assume that all women must marry and miss what they bring to the church and society.

Motherhood is not a woman’s highest calling – being conformed to Jesus Christ is. Every Christian woman, even with children, has spiritual gifts given to her to use for the benefit of the entire body of Christ, not just her nuclear family. Every woman is called to glorify God in all that she does.

2. A godly woman has the opportunity to be one of the greatest influencers on earth. 

The beauty of her spirit may win the souls of those around her. Her adherence to God’s plan can proclaim the gospel. Her faith and knowledge of God’s word can spill over into her spheres of life.

Her hope is in God. 

For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves (1 Peter 3:5). Precious in the sight of the Lord is the heart of a woman filled with hope in God. This is the foundation of everything God has called her to be. Sarah hoped in God and considered Him faithful who had promised (Hebrews 11:11). Godly women should never give up the pursuit of God through His Word. She wants to influence for Christ those in her circle of influence. And a woman who hopes consistently spends time in His Word and in prayer. She believes the gospel and finds her shelter in her Heavenly Father.

She rests in God.

Let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious (1 Peter 3:4). There’s no music in a rest, but there is the making of music in it. In our life-melody the music is broken off here and there by rests. God writes with His design for the music of our lives.

A godly woman knows God, puts her hope in Him, and finds her rest in God. She calms and quiets her own soul. She doesn’t struggle against the God who is her refuge and determines her circumstances. Rather than worry, a godly woman trusts the Lord. She delights in Him, committing her way to Him. Trusting God to be who He says that He is, she waits patiently for Him. Her refuge is the name of the Lord in whom she puts her hope.

She is fearless.

And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening (1 Peter 3:6). Two university students in Moorhead, Minnesota, painted a mural on the wall outside their dorm room. It showed a school of fish, all swimming in the same direction except for one single fish headed the opposite way. The one fish was intended to be the age-old symbol for Christ. Printed on the mural were these words: Go against the flow. University officials argued that the mural might offend non-Christians and ordered the students to paint over it.

Fearlessness means that in obedience to our Master, we must be willing to go against the flow. As we follow Jesus, our motives, values, and habits will be different from non-Christians. A woman who hopes in God isn’t afraid, because she knows her God. She isn’t afraid of the path God has called her to walk. She’s not afraid of sickness, the future, death or dark valleys. She entrusts her life and ministry to God. She advances His kingdom through fearlessness to God’s design for womanhood because she hopes in God.

And though she may stumble like Sarah and laughs in disbelief at God’s promises, He will turn her laughter into one of confidence in her Savior and joyful hope in His word. By faith, she laughs, because she looks for that eternal city, the heavenly one. By faith, she joins the ranks of holy women who considered Him faithful. She’s a woman of whom this world is not worthy, and God is not ashamed to be called her God.

3. A godly woman is a Proverbs 31 woman. 

Most agree Proverbs 31 contains the description of a real lady, a first-class female. As women read Proverbs 31 they can be discouraged. They think it’s too high of a standard.

In her book, Queen of Hearts, Jill Briscoe writes: The Proverbs 31 woman has long stood as the Statue of Liberty-at the harbor of the City of Womanhood, welcoming all who flee from being anything less than perfect. But what if I have runs in my stocking (I’m sure they were all right when I left home); consistently lose one of my husband’s socks in the washing machine; and regularly misplace my car in the supermarket parking lot (It’s blue sir–I know it’s blue!)? Is there any hope for me if I dream of writing a book about my small children called From Here to Insanity? And if I am shaped like a pillow instead of a post? Is there any hope for a woman if she’s not everything she ought to be, facing this description of an excellent woman? What response do we have–women or men–when encountering a life that is noble and lived to the full? Do we find ourselves filled with hope or sinking in hopelessness?

We don’t have time to work through Proverbs 31. To understand it, look at the first verse. The sayings of King Lemuel–an oracle his mother taught him (Proverbs 31:1). While King Lemuel wrote this, it was the things his mom taught him. It’s a mother’s opinion of the kind of woman her son should look for. It’s a hypothetical woman, not an actual one.

The best place to learn the characteristics of a godly woman is in the last 22 verses. Let’s just touch on some of the general traits of a godly woman.

In these verses we find that the excellent woman isn’t one-dimensional. She lives a multi-faceted life.

She’s a godly friend.

She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy (Proverbs 31:20). What’s a friend? A friend is there when you have a need. A friend is someone who walks in after everyone else has walked out. This woman who looks around and sees poor people, needy people, and is willing to be their friend.

Notice it doesn’t say that she gives money to the poor or clothing and food to the needy. No, she opens her arms. She gives of herself. She embraces those who are hurting. Did you know that one of the greatest needs in this world is that sometimes we just need someone to give us a hug?  Do you know someone around you that you can open your arms to?

She’s a godly worker. 

She has a career and in most of these jobs, she’s the boss. She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands…and portions for her servant girls. She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night…She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes (Proverbs 31:13-24). Notice all the commercial and entrepreneurial endeavors she’s engaged in. It’s interesting that there are six verses that refer to this woman’s business ability, compared to two that speak of her role as a mother.

She’s able to purchase raw material. She gives assignments to her employees. She’s in the real estate business and commercial agriculture. She considers a field (she is smart enough to give it a fair-market appraisal) and buys it. She has some operating capital. She has other investments because it says, out of her earnings, she plants a vineyard.

Wow! What a businesswoman! She’s a hard worker. She makes a profit–even if she has to work at night.

What does she do with the wool and flax she bought? She makes linen garments and sells them to merchants. She’s in the wholesale tapestry business. Some erroneously say that a woman’s place is in the home but there are more verses that deal with this woman’s business expertise than address her role as a mother or wife.

The bottom line is that she’s a brilliant CEO of her own family of companies. Every woman works. The correct question to ask a woman is not, “Do you work?” The correct question is, “Do you work outside the home?” For those who’ve made the choice to be full-time mothers and homemakers, I commend you for this choice. Yet, for those who choose to work outside the home, please learn from Proverbs 31 that wherever God places you, you can be a godly woman and honor Him.

A godly woman excels in character.

Relationships are based on other people. A person’s abilities have to do with what they can do–but when you look below the surface, you can discover the most about someone when you examine their character. Character is who you are when no one is looking. You can buy an education. You can buy cosmetics and clothes, but you can’t buy character. Notice three things about the character of this woman:

Her outward godly character.

She is clothed with strength and dignity (Proverbs 31:25). When you look at this kind of woman, you notice something about her outward appearance. Strength and dignity are so natural for her that she wears them like a well-fitting garment. They begin on the inside but are evident on the outside.

When it speaks of strength here, it’s not physical strength. It’s her strength of character, her strength to maintain her moral purity, her strength to stand up under the stress and demands of life.

Today we have many strong women in our midst. I know of women who’ve experienced the loss of a mate who took care of every detail of their life. Now that he’s gone, they have the strength to carry on. Some women have been deserted, leaving them with children and no income. But they’re resilient and carry on. That’s the kind of strength this is talking about.

She’s also clothed with dignity. Dignity comes from a word that means “worthy.” It’s a woman who holds her head high, no matter what. We’d say that she has “class.” She’s “graceful” in all she does and says. This godly woman has an outward demeanor that reflects confidence and assurance. Others would say that she’s a first-class lady.

Her inner godly character. (vs. 25, 26)

…she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue (Proverbs 31:25, 26). She has a cheerful personality. She can laugh. That’s important, because we all know those who seemed to have undergone a humor-bypass operation. They just have no sense of humor.

Here’s a woman who has a positive, cheerful outlook on life and can laugh.

She can laugh at the days to come. That means that when she thinks about the future, she doesn’t fret. She can laugh!  

She also speaks with wisdom. Some of the greatest teachers throughout history have been women. God gave them a supernatural wisdom few others have. Maybe you remember all the wise lessons that your mother taught you?

President Dwight D. Eisenhower was once asked, Who is the greatest man you ever met? He replied, The greatest person I ever met wasn’t a man. It was a woman. It was my mother. She never had much schooling, but she was wise in God’s wisdom. She went to school with the greatest of all books, the Bible.

In our sexualized culture many women focus only on developing their outer beauty. There are countless magazines promoting beauty and fashion. To focus only on external beauty is skin deep. It will never be enough.

Did you know that March was Beautiful Woman Month. Someone wrote: Cheer up ladies; there are 3 billion women who don’t look like super-models and only eight who do. The average woman weighs 144 pounds and wears between a 12-14. If Barbie were a real woman, she’d have to walk on all fours due to her proportions. A psychological study found that three minutes spent looking at a fashion magazine caused 70% of women to feel depressed, guilty, and shameful. In 1950, models weighed 8% less than the average woman; today, they weigh 23% less.

Proverbs 31 speaks of true beauty, inner beauty. Someone wrote: The beauty of a woman isn’t in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she does her hair. The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes. Because that’s the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows. And the beauty of a woman with the passing years–only grows! Finally, notice a third dimension…

Her spiritual character. (v. 29-31)

Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all…Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate (Proverbs 31:29-31).

The Hebrew word for charm literally means “bodily form.” You can be deceived by appearances. Beauty may be there for a few years–but it’s soon gone. But a woman who fears the Lord has an advantage over all the others. She has a place of honor and blessing that age and appearance can never take away. That’s why the Bible says we should give her the praise she deserves.

Where are the godly women? Many are in this church. I live with one. So do many of you. Let’s make sure we give them the praise they deserve!

Conclusion

Let’s tie this up with some godly women from Church History. What does it take to be a godly woman?

Prayer and courage. 

Monica, the mother of Augustine should motivate you to pray. Though Augustine pursued a life of debauchery, he wrote in his book, Confessions, that his mother labored in prayer for his salvation. He writes with deep affection and gratitude about how she shared Christ with him through her humility, love, and unceasing prayers.

Katarina Luther should spur you to have courage, to stand up for what’s true, and to be industrious in caring for others. She’s the former nun who married Martin Luther, a former monk, after he nailed his 95 theses to the church door at Wittenberg in 1517.

Luther expected daily to be martyred for his protests against the Catholic Church. In the midst of plagues and controversies, Katarina was known to be a deep thinker and theologian, an excellent mother, and a gifted host to the men who stayed in her home as they were taught by Luther.

Serving others even while in pain. 

Susanna Spurgeon reminds you that even in great suffering, you can serve the Lord and others. She was wracked by chronic illness after birthing twins to the great preacher, Charles Spurgeon. Her pain kept her home, often in bed, yet she supported Charles, raised her sons to love Jesus, and had a ministry of equipping young pastors by sending them books and notes of encouragement through her Book Fund.

Amy Carmichael, a missionary in India, lived with chronic pain for most of her life. A debilitating fall in 1931 left her bedridden for her final 20 years, yet she continued leading her mission and wrote over 40 books. She used her suffering to deepen her walk with the Lord.

Dying to self and living for Christ. 

Esther Ahn Kim and Lillias Trotter affirm that when we die to ourselves, we find true life in Jesus.

Esther was a Korean Christian who refused to bow to a Shinto shrine. Though mistreated by the occupying Japanese forces, she loved them and shared Christ with them. She was imprisoned for six years where she faithfully shared Christ even while enduring harsh treatment, malnourishment, and severe beatings.

Lillias Trotter, despite tremendous health difficulties and the availability of wealth, security and comfort in London, went to Algeria to share Jesus with Muslims and desert tribes. She labored in joy as a single missionary for forty years before dying there. These ladies show us that abiding in Jesus really is sweeter than any comfort this world has to offer.

All these women in Church History shined brightly for Jesus so that those who lived among them, and we who live later, might learn from them and bring glory to God. God planned when and where each woman would live. He promised Himself, His grace and care for each one’s trials. And each one believed His Word and stepped out in faith. And they’re just a few of the innumerable lights that make up a city on a hill. They shined brightly for the glory of God.

But none of them were super women or super Christians, but they served a Super God, and you can too! They knew Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow (Hebrews 13:8). His grace is enough! We need more godly women. Will you be one?

At Grace, we are blessed with many godly women. Yet for those who possibly don’t feel like they measure up, realize that you matter to God and there is hope in Christ, in His love and in His Word. It’s a choice to follow Him, to trust Him and to be a godly woman. It begins by trusting Him as your Savior. And if you don’t know Him, please trust Him today.