Scripture: 2 Samuel 14:1-33
Sermon Series: 2 Samuel: When God is Your King! – Sermon 14
Aldous Huxley (picture) wrote: “Never have so many been manipulated so much by so few.” Earlier this year we worked through a series, Dealing with Toxic people (picture). Our definition was…Manipulation is the exercise of harmful influence over others.
Usually, we think of manipulation as one on one, but if there’s a lack of critical thinking skills, there can easily be group or cultural manipulation. Sadly, a lot of education has become indoctrination. When there is group manipulation, beliefs are accepted even if they’re illogical or contradictory.
For example, recently college campuses had protests supporting Hamas and “Free Palestine.” An illogical part of that is “Gays for Palestine” (picture). With pride flags waving, they championed a country that’d execute or imprison them. They were manipulated to support a regime that hates them.
One more…Are you a “Swiftie”? I did like her early stuff. Currently, Taylor Swift (picture) is on tour with an obscene laced crusade of denouncing “The Patriarchy” (rich white men). Isn’t Taylor Swift a rich white woman, a billionaire? Who staffs her concerts? Normal working people. It’s cultural manipulation. She needs to shake it off.
2 Samuel 14 is the beginning of a national manipulation that continues through chapter 18. David’s own son, Absalom, is a Master Manipulator.
It began with Amnon, David’s oldest son raping, his half-sister, Tamar who is Absalom’s sister from another of David’s wives. But David did nothing. Two years later, Absalom murders Amnon and flees to Geshur. When we pick it up in chapter 14, Absalom has been on the lam for three years.
Some of you know what this is like. If you’ve been heartbroken over a wayward child, a son or a daughter, you can relate to David. Perhaps they’re away from the Lord, maybe they’ve abandoned the family. There’s a rift and it breaks your heart.
In one day, David lost two sons. One murdered, the other the murderer. It’s DeJa’Vu of Cain and Abel. David mourns over his murdered son and mourns over the fugitive. Absalom is a rebel, but he’s still David’s son.
So, what prevents David from bringing Absalom back? It’s complicated. David is not only the father, but also the king. He’s responsible for the obeying of God’s Law, the custodian of justice for the nation. To bring Absalom back would be an injustice. Absalom took justice into his own hands, committing cold blooded murder. David, as we move into our story, is caught in an awful dilemma. He’s the father who longs to be restored to his son but he’s the king chosen by God to uphold the Law that condemns his son. Throughout this story he’s torn apart by these two conflicting loyalties.
2 Samuel 14 is about the return of Absalom that’s manipulated by Joab and then Joab is manipulated by Absalom. Absalom returns but not as a repenting prodigal, he’s a hardened rebel. At the heart of this story are three unsuccessful attempts to bring about reconciliation. If you’re taking notes…
1. Love without justice, vss. 1-23
Loving actions can do more than change your feelings; they can communicate in unmistakable terms the reality of your forgiveness and your commitment to reconciliation.
Thomas Edison (picture) apparently understood this. When he and his staff were developing the incandescent light bulb, it took hundreds of hours to manufacture a single bulb. One day, after finishing a bulb, he handed it to a young errand boy and asked him to take it upstairs to the testing room. As the boy started up the stairs, he stumbled and fell. The bulb shattered on the steps. But instead of rebuking the boy, Edison reassured him and then turned to his staff and told them to start working on another light bulb.
When it was completed several days later, Edison demonstrated the reality of his forgiveness. He walked over to the same boy, handed him the new light bulb, and said, “Please take this up to the testing room.” Imagine how that boy must have felt. He knew he didn’t deserve to be trusted with this responsibility again. Yet, here it is, being offered to him as though nothing had ever happened. Nothing could have restored this boy to the team more clearly. How much more should we who’ve experienced reconciliation with God be quick to demonstrate our forgiveness with concrete actions.
David had experienced forgiveness and reconciliation with God for his adultery with Bathsheba and the murder of Uriah. But he’s never able to achieve reconciliation with his son, Absalom. Three years had elapsed since Absalom murdered Amnon and fled as a fugitive to Geshur.
For some reason, Joab, David’s nephew and military general, wants to facilitate reconciliation between David and Absalom. We don’t know his motives. From what we know of Joab, it probably wasn’t out of concern for David. Joab was an opportunist.
David is now up in years, probably nearing 60. The years are catching up with him. Absalom, the fugitive is next in line for the throne. He’s also very popular. Joab may have been making sure that he’s still in the inner circle when David is gone. His future is with the Absalom Party. He’ll do this again later when David is on his death bed and Joab attempts to put his own choice for king on the throne.
Murder wouldn’t bother Joab. He’d committed premeditated murder of Saul’s general, Abner, in revenge years before. Having Absalom home is a barrier protecting Joab from facing justice himself for his crimes. If there’s amnesty for Absalom, maybe he’s thinking, “there will be amnesty for me.”
We tend to be soft on the sins that we ourselves are guilty of. If you have a problem with gossip, you tend to overlook it in others. If you have an anger problem, it doesn’t trouble you when you see it in others. Unconfessed and unrepented sin sears our conscience.
Joab knows David is done when it comes to Absalom, so he manipulates David to get him to bring Absalom home. David has given up on his son, but Joab finds an online actress who pretends to be a grieved widow. She’s from Tekoa, 10 miles south of Jerusalem. It’s the same place Amos the prophet is from. She’s talented and spins quite a yarn. She’s wise, but like Jonadab in chapter 13, it’s worldly wisdom not God’s wisdom. Dale Ralph Davis (picture) comments: “This chapter should haunt the church, not to mention the individual, believing or unbelieving. It is possible to have all the signs of wisdom—plans, strategies, accomplishments—yet be utterly devoid of it.”
Stories have power. Nathan told one to David to awaken his seared conscience. Nathan challenged David with conscience over feelings. This woman challenges David with feelings over conscience. Feelings will deceive us, but God uses our conscience to guide us. It’s why we must keep a tender conscience. The way to keep a tender conscience is to know God’s Word and deal quickly with sin. We need to keep short accounts with God.
Be wary of an emotional rather than a biblical or rational argument. We can be manipulated, even to commit sin, by emotional arguments. It’s the fallacy of that country song, “How can this be wrong when it feels so right.”
Nathan’s story about the lamb touched the heart of David the shepherd. This woman’ story about a warring family moved the heart of David the father. What follows is the longest conversation in both 1 and 2 Samuel.
She tells a story, and, in her story, David sees this family’s greed. Their demand for the guilty son to be executed is a cover. No one witnessed the fight or murder. It’s not premeditated like Absalom’s murder of Amnon, and no one was pushing for Absalom’s execution though it’d be justice.
In the story her fictitious relatives push for “justice” because with the woman’s husband and sons dead, her property would become theirs once she dies. Their demand for justice was selfishly motivated injustice.
David doesn’t render a verdict according to God’s Law. His verdict lines up more with the story of Cain and Abel. It was God who protected Cain from justice. This woman deceptively asks David to act in God’s place and protect her surviving son but she’s deceiving him into protecting Absalom. David assures her he’ll protect her son and her inheritance.
She manipulates David with two false reasons. First, she says that what David is doing hurts the people. “Why then have you planned such a thing against the people of God?” (2 Samuel 14:13). Bringing Absalom back without justice brings disaster and brings the nation to the verge of civil war.
Second, she pulls the God-card. “We must all die; we are like water spilled on the ground, which cannot be gathered up again. But God will not take away life, and He devises means so that the banished one will not remain an outcast” (2 Samuel 14:14). In essence she says, “God forgives so why won’t you?” She’s wrong again. God will not forgive apart from justice. That’s the point of this whole narrative. When God forgives it’s not at the expense of His justice and it’s never apart from our own repentance.
So, how can God forgive and still be just? The solution is provided through God’s Son, Jesus Christ. He left heaven to come to our world to restore banished sinners to God’s love. Jesus satisfies God’s justice by paying our sin debt on the cross with His own life and blood. He’s the perfect sacrifice. He took our penalty that our sins deserved under God’s law.
This week we celebrated the 4th of July. Those 56 men (picture) who signed our Declaration of Independence that first 4th understood sacrifice on the behalf of others. They wrote: “We herewith pledge, our lives, our fortunes, and our sacred honor.” If you read their history, you’ll find that they paid a tremendous price for our freedom. Yet, it’s not comparable to the price Jesus paid so that God could be just and forgive us of our sin. There is no justice, restoration or forgiveness in Absalom’s return. To appeal to God’s mercy without justice is sentimentality.
Somehow this woman puts the blame on David. She doesn’t use Absalom’s name but refers to him as the “banished one.” No one banished Absalom. He ran. He was a fugitive from justice. Beware of those who blame shift.
Finally, she pushes David, and he cements the deal with an oath. An oath to God couldn’t be broken. Now she reveals the true issue. She says that the king is two-faced. He granted leniency for a fictitious son but won’t restore his banished one. If David is willing to protect a man he doesn’t know, shouldn’t he be willing to protect his own flesh and heir to the throne?
David knows he’s been manipulated. He smells a rat – Joab. It’s possible that Joab had been nagging David to bring back Absalom for three years. This woman is just another ploy to get David to go along with Joab’s plans.
The terrible events recorded in the next few chapters show the high cost of manipulation. Joab’s plan is a blunder that costs everyone in the end.
2. Mercy without access, vss. 24-27
Joab’s manipulation worked! David gives in, informs Joab to bring Absalom home, but under very strict conditions. This isn’t an innocent man being acquitted. Absalom is a guilty man receiving a get-out-of-jail pass.
He returns but he’s under house arrest. He’s home but justice hasn’t been done. When he comes back, for the first time David tells him no. He doesn’t give Absalom what he wants. He won’t let him into the royal court. But David doesn’t punish him or pardon him. David doesn’t know what to do with Absalom. He won’t treat him as the murderer that he was and have him executed, yet he can’t treat him as innocent, welcoming him back. David seems to want to avoid the issue. Maybe he’s trying to wake up Absalom up to a Nathan experience of his guilt. David can’t pretend all is well, so he shows mercy, but the relationship is left broken.
The narrator provides us with a footnote. Absalom is the best-looking man in Israel. He’s a hot star for the paparazzi, the Robert Pattinson or Chris Hemsworth of his day. Absalom doesn’t have a blemish or even a pimple!
He has Samson-like hair that he only cuts once a year. This thick head of hair weighs about 5 pounds. Yet the only thing truly weighty about Absalom was his hair. According to Josephus, he’d oil it and powder it with gold. He’s on the cover of People as the sexiest man alive. Absalom uses this time to build a celebrity following. It’s ironic that David had been fooled by the woman into saying of the woman’s son (who represented Absalom), “Not one hair of your son shall fall to the ground” (2 Samuel 13:11).
This description should catch our attention. We’ve heard it all before. Here are echoes of a new Saul – an impressive young man; head and shoulders taller than everyone else. It’s not that good looks are bad or a disqualification with God, but they must be secondary to what’s truly important. “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart” (1 Samuel 16:7-8).
Looks are deceiving. We’ve all met those that are attractive on the outside but ugly on the inside…and it always come out.
God reminds us not to look on what only He can see. What we as men/women see doesn’t matter. We only see the external, but God sees the internal. Puritan commentator, Matthew Henry (picture), notes about Absalom, “All that is here said of him is…That he was a very handsome man…that he had a very fine head of hair…that his family began to be built up…Nothing is said of his wisdom and piety.”
This doesn’t mean we’re to swing to the opposite extreme, that God doesn’t care about outward appearance. Some Christians and churches seem to believe looking dowdy makes you spiritual. It doesn’t. The Bible doesn’t teach that. David is described as good looking. The point is: God values internal character more than external characteristics.
We err so easily here, judging others based on what we see – or don’t see. God’s agenda focuses on the heart. Our culture prioritizes the external, minimizing the internal. God disagrees. What’s important is our godliness and character.
Then, Absalom names his daughter, Tamar, after his sister. His love for her is demonstrated once again. His sister living in his home and now his daughter are constant reminders of the violence David allowed and his failure as a father. Based on what Absalom says later in 2 Samuel, Absalom’s sons died prematurely.
When Absalom returned to Jerusalem, he may have thought that God was acting in a providential way toward him. He may have changed his mind after having to wait two years! But then, after two years, he’s granted an audience with David. There seemed to be some sort of reconciliation.
We don’t know if Absalom thought in terms of God’s providence. But, from his perspective, it did appear as if providence was smiling on him, that this was God’s will. We must always be careful if we appeal to God’s will or divine providence to justify our actions.
Adolph Hitler (picture) survived an assassination attempt at Wolf’s Lair with a punctured eardrum and the temporary paralysis of an arm. Immediately following the bomb blast, Hitler was to meet with Mussolini. He met Mussolini at the train station and took him back to Wolf’s Lair to show him the damage. “Frankly, Duce,” Hitler confessed, “I regard this event as the pronouncement of divine providence.” When Mussolini admitted he’d had a marvelous escape, Hitler retorted: “Marvelous? It’s more than that. It’s God’s intervention. Look at this room, at my uniform. When I reflect on this, I know nothing will happen to me. Clearly it is my divine task to continue on and bring my great enterprise to completion.”
3. Pardon without repentance, vss. 23-33
Adolph Sabath (picture) was a Congressmen from Illinois and Chairman of the House Rules Committee from 1940-52. He ruled his committee with a tight fist. One of the committee members, Georgia Congressman Eugene Cox (picture), wanted to change those rules – overriding the chairman. At the time Sabath was in his 80s. He begged Cox not to press his resolution. With a faltering voice Sabath told Cox that he had a weak heart, and pleaded, “Mr. Cox, this will kill me, if you pass this resolution!” Cox said he didn’t care, and that Sabath had stalled on this far too long. Instantly, Sabath pitched forward out of his chair, fell at Cox’s feet and lay motionless there. Cox panicked, “I’ve killed him!” Cox and other members of Congress carried Sabath into the nearest office, laid him on a large couch and ran in search of a doctor.
Ohio’s “Bud” Brown (picture) was left with Sabath. After a minute or two Brown saw Sabath open one of his eyes and scan the room. “Why you old rascal! There’s nothing wrong with you!” Adolph Sabath shot back, “Well, Mr. Cox didn’t get his resolution, did he?” Too often manipulation is seen as necessary to get one’s way. Just because it works doesn’t make it right.
Finally, Joab the manipulator is out manipulated by a master manipulator. Expelling Absalom from court removed him out as heir apparent and Absalom wasn’t having it. You’d think Absalom would be grateful. He’d gotten away with murder. He wasn’t executed as the Law prescribed. He’s been brought back to his home but he’s not.
Please mark this down: The unrepentant heart is never thankful. It always thinks that God owes me more, something better than this. Gratitude and praise are something that makes Christ-followers distinctly different. Friend, are you distinctly different?
He sends for Joab, but Joab ghosts him. It seems Joab is seeing through Absalom, but Joab is outgunned. “Then Absalom sent for Joab, to send him to the king, but Joab would not come to him. And he sent a second time, but Joab would not come. Then he said to his servants, ‘See, Joab’s field is next to mine, and he has barley there; go and set it on fire.” So, Absalom’s servants set the field on fire. Then Joab arose and went to Absalom at his house and said to him, “Why have your servants set my field on fire?” Absalom answered Joab, “Behold, I sent word to you, ‘Come here, that I may send you to the king, to ask, “Why have I come from Geshur?” (2 Samuel 14:29-32).
Notice that he doesn’t want to go to his “father.” He wants an audience with the king. He approaches David like a servant, not a son. He’s arrogant with the attitude of “I’ve done nothing wrong.” He bows before the king and is kissed. David’s kiss is a sign of pardon. Absalom comes like a slave, but David once again treats him like a son.
This is a pardon without repentance. Absalom’s heart is a stone. From here he begins plotting the downfall of his father who loved him and showed him such great mercy. David’s forgiveness is real. David doesn’t act, but he is being acted on. With Absalom it’s all a charade.
What’s Absalom’s greatest problem? Pride. Pride loves flattery and the attention of others. Pride disregards the concerns and rights of others. That’s why Absalom expects Joab to jump when he calls and destroys his property to get his way. Pride denies wrongs done to others, “If there is guilt in me” (2 Samuel 14:32). He’d murdered his brother. He’d burned Joab’s fields.
Finally, pride demands recognition from others. Absalom demands an audience with the king. Pride displays false humility. He bowed before the king, but he only bowed his head, not his heart.
Conclusion
In this terrible story there’s a wonderful arrow to the gospel. It’s found in the words of the woman of Tekoa. She said a lot of things that were just spin but in verse 14 she says, “God devises means so that the banished one will not remain an outcast” (2 Samuel 14:14). It’s one of the most wonderful pointers to the gospel in the Old Testament.
2 Samuel 14 is about master manipulators. But Absalom and Joab are rookies compared to Satan the Master Manipulator. One of Satan’s greatest manipulations is what is known as “universalism.”
What’s universalism? It’s the belief that in the end everyone goes to heaven. J.I. Packer (picture), “A universalist is someone who believes that every human being whom God has created or will create will finally come to enjoy the everlasting salvation into which Christians enter here and now.”
Let me illustrate it. Imagine you’re standing in front of a minefield. You’re a wise individual, so you ask an important question of a person standing nearby: “What do I need to do to get across this minefield safely?” Now if that bystander is a universalist, their answer will be something like this: “You don’t need to do anything to get across the minefield safely. Everyone gets across safely.”
That’s universalism. It’s the idea that ultimately, everyone is saved and goes to heaven, regardless of whether or not they’ve put their trust in Christ. But it’s not what the Bible says or what Jesus taught. It denies the gospel and is a terrible lie. Jesus warned about it. “Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few” (Matthew 7:13-14).
God loves us but God is also just. God can’t love without justice. Because I’m a mess and you’re a mess, we’re not worthy of heaven and never will be. Its why God sent Jesus and sacrificed Him on that cross to pay all of our sin debt. That way God could be just and also forgive all of our sin.
The debt was paid, yet it must be accepted. The Bible repeatedly calls salvation a free gift, but you and I must personally accept God’s gift. At the cross God brought justice and love together so that reconciliation is possible.
It will certainly take one much greater than David, not to mention Joab or Absalom, to sort out the disaster that human sin causes. That’s what Jesus has done by the blood of His cross. The very thing David could not do – save his son, is that which God has done for us thru David’s greater Son.
Later in 2 Samuel David will express that he would’ve willingly died in Absalom’s place, but that would have no eternal benefit for Absalom – or David. We can’t save our children. God did what we cannot do. He gave up His sinless Son, to suffer and die on the cross as the payment for our sin. He gave up His Son so that our sins could be forgiven, and we could be saved.
If you want to be reconciled to God, you must repent of your sin and accept God’s gift of salvation that’s found only in Christ. You can’t scheme your way into God’s forgiveness. Instead, you must rest by faith in Christ’s finished work. 2 Corinthians 5:18, “All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to Himself.”
The very heart of why we’re coming around the Lord’s Table today is not the arrogant approach of an Absalom but the humble cry of the Prodigal Son.
In Luke 15, we read the story of another prodigal who left his father. That father didn’t ignore him for years, but instead every day he searched the horizon longing for him to come home. When his prodigal son finally came to his senses, realized his sin, and came home confessing his sins, his Dad ran to him, kissed him, hugged him, and would not let him go. He killed the fattened calf and celebrated his prodigal son’s return.
When we repent of our sins, God doesn’t begrudgingly forgive us of our sins because He’s forced to. He loves us. He celebrates over us. He sings over us with joy when we repent of our sins and come Home to Him.
That’s the kind of great and gracious God we serve, not a God that forgives us in coldness like David forgave Absalom, but a God who celebrates over us with joy the moment we repent, turn to him, and come Home.
The prodigal fell before his Dad, “And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ (Luke 15:21). That’s me and that’s you. We will never be worthy to be called God’s son or daughter. We’re only worthy because God in mercy makes us worthy through Jesus and His sacrifice. God forgives it all. We now have unlimited grace.
My friend, have you come to the Father? Have you trusted Christ’s sacrifice as the payment for your sin? You don’t need to manipulate God. He loves you right where you’re at. He longs for you to come Home to Him so that He can forgive you and make you part of His Forever Family. Have you done that? If not, will you do that today?